Friday, September 17, 2010

The Footprints That We leave Behind

Funny how we keep people in our psyche long after they are no longer in our life.

My ex-sister-in-law, who I haven't seen since I was a child, has been suffering from a range of serious illnesses and is in the hospital. It doesn't look like she'll be coming home.

My brother drove across the country to be with his daughters as they dealt with the difficulty of being faced with the imminent loss of their mother.

I spoke to my brother on the phone and he told me that she was unconscious but that he was able to communicate on a limited level with her if he got close enough even though she never opened her eyes.

I asked if he believed that in her near-comatose state she knew who he was. After all, they had not seen one another or spoken in many years.
He told me that he was confident that she did because as he was attempting to communicate with her she had...with eyes closed in her semi-conscious state...asked about me.
Referring to me by the name that everyone called me back when I was a little kid she asked how I was.

I found this not only touching obviously but also amazing.
I cannot even remember what she looked like as it's been so many years since I've seen her yet I was still there floating around somewhere in her universe.

I wonder how many people out there remember us even though we have no idea that they do. Perhaps people that we have long since forgotten.

I think of those I recall...childhood classmates, teachers, co-workers...people that were in my life for a time on some level that for any number of reasons I still think about from time to time without them knowing that they are still in my own memory bank.
It may even be someone I only knew briefly or encountered in my travels and interacted with for no more than a few days or even hours yet they are still there.

Life is funny.

We each live in our own private universe without being conscious that we also live in those of others...often without our awareness that in some way we left an imprint and a picture in their mind that they will take with them until the end.

I suppose it must be some sort of cosmic residue that we each spread around without our knowledge.

Maybe it gives us a good reason to be careful as to what we track in when the door is matter how briefly.