PDXTom

3 things

2011-07-15T12:08:00.000-07:00

What if you could change some of the ways in which our country does business.

Now I don't mean a major reworking of every aspect of government (although I'd sure like to do that) but rather what are some REALISTIC...non partisan...ideas that could make a real difference?

There are 3 things that seem OBVIOUS to me and yet I never hear them discussed on any serious level.

3 things I never hear politicians talk about that could make a MAJOR change in our country.

1. A new czar appointment;

Since we now live in the era of "Health czars","Economic Czars" and "Energy Czars" how about an army of"expenditure and accounting" Czars who oversee exactly where every dime of tax money goes at EVERY level of government?

I suggest that if there were such oversight at every level of government we could put an end to the era of parks departments, transportation divisions and military offices intentionally spending every last dime of their budget...even when they don't NEED to...in order to justify asking for the same amount of money (and then some) the next year.

Most of us are shocked when we hear that $3 million has been given to gamers to play video games or that $35 million has been paid out by Medicare to 118 "phantom" medical clinics that never existed but why should we be?

Most companies make someone account for every $10 that leaves the petty cash box yet I have NO idea where much of the money I pay in taxes goes or who approves most of the spending.

We could see an end to the era of irresponsible & absurd expenditures and the money saved could be moved into programs that actually work for the American people.

Oh yeah, and THIS czar would make all of the OTHER "czars" justify their own paychecks!

2. SLASH foreign aid.

It's simple;
We no longer give a penny to ANY country which is run by a dictator, deprives it's people of their basic human rights or takes consistently anti-democracy anti-US positions.

And as far as giving aid to our "friends" goes, we expect full repayment with interest.
A country doesn't have money to pay it's debts to the US back?
Fine.
We'll take an IOU for now but we WILL expect repayment be it in cash or usable resources.
Oil? Lumber? Udon Noodles?
We'll take 'em.

There is, in my estimation, something very wrong about pouring billions of dollars into the coffers of madmen who hate us while telling our own veterans and senior citizens that there's not enough money to take care of them when they truly need it.

3. End one specific opportunity for employment;
Term limits at EVERY level of government.

Public "servants" should not be able to make a career of sitting in a cushy seat for decades and then retire with a guaranteed 80% of their wages.

Most people have no clue as to who their state senators are or what they do.
You know why?
Because most of them do NOTHING in hopes that if they don't rock the boat and can smile and shake enough hands at election time that they'll be able to coast through life and then retire like a king.

End it.
Let more citizens have the opportunity to serve in public office with the same attitude that jurors should have;
Do as good of a job as possible and then get out and back to real life.

Every Democrat, Republican and Libertarian I know is more trustworthy, in my opinion, than anyone who would actually WANT to be a career politician.

As a matter of fact, it seems to me that the very fact that one would want to be a career politician in the first place should disqualify them from holding any such position!

So there you have it.

Sure, I know everyone on every side will want to pelt me with rocks and garbage but I believe that these are the types of considerations that should be at the top of the list for discussion and the fact that they are NOT is exactly why we are where we are.

But then again, hey...that's just ME!

http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/insideisrael/2011/June/Jackpot-Israel-on-Cusp-on-Energy-Revolution/

2011-06-29T19:38:00.000-07:00

http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/insideisrael/2011/June/Jackpot-Israel-on-Cusp-on-Energy-Revolution/

WHY I AM AGAINST THE LEGALIZATION OF GAY MARRIAGE...

2011-04-28T08:05:00.000-07:00

Ah...I can see half of the people I know saying "Yeah!" and the other half saying "I always knew he was a right-wing bigot!"

So let me make another statement that will perplex and confuse you;

I am ALSO against any proposed constitutional amendment to define marriage as being between one man and one woman.

Huh?!?

When I hear the question about who should or should not be "allowed" to marry I think that most folks are asking the wrong question.

So what is the right one?

The right question, in my view, is should government be in the marriage business at all?

I say no, it should not be.

Marriage is, after all, a contract between consenting adults.

The only role the government should ever have in the matter is when a dispute arises between people that must be settled in a court of law.
In matters involving marriage this typically only comes about when the marriage is being dissolved and there are disputes over property, finances and custody of children.

But those items are subject to judicial resolution regardless of marital status.
After all, a couple living together without a marriage contract still have the right to legal arbitration when they go their separate ways don't they?

For that matter, people living together simply as room mates can seek the same right to arbitration should they disagree over who should keep the sofa.

Many will point out that there are certain benefits and responsibilities that go hand-in-hand with legal government sanctioned marriage.
But shouldn't I have the right to designate anyone I wish as my power of attorney, my beneficiary or simply my "go-to" person regardless of the nature of my relationship with them?

I should not need a government employee to "validate" the understanding I have with another person over any of these matters.

Marriage, in my opinion, is a matter that should be left up to individuals, families and Churches.

How you define your relationship with another consenting adult is none of my business.

And it sure as hell is not the business of the government.

So I say get the government out of the marriage business altogether and let it focus on the one and only thing it does reasonably well.

And I think we all know what that is.

The Footprints That We leave Behind

2010-09-17T18:18:00.000-07:00

Funny how we keep people in our psyche long after they are no longer in our life.

My ex-sister-in-law, who I haven't seen since I was a child, has been suffering from a range of serious illnesses and is in the hospital. It doesn't look like she'll be coming home.

My brother drove across the country to be with his daughters as they dealt with the difficulty of being faced with the imminent loss of their mother.

I spoke to my brother on the phone and he told me that she was unconscious but that he was able to communicate on a limited level with her if he got close enough even though she never opened her eyes.

I asked if he believed that in her near-comatose state she knew who he was. After all, they had not seen one another or spoken in many years.
He told me that he was confident that she did because as he was attempting to communicate with her she had...with eyes closed in her semi-conscious state...asked about me.
Referring to me by the name that everyone called me back when I was a little kid she asked how I was.

I found this not only touching obviously but also amazing.
I cannot even remember what she looked like as it's been so many years since I've seen her yet I was still there floating around somewhere in her universe.

I wonder how many people out there remember us even though we have no idea that they do. Perhaps people that we have long since forgotten.

I think of those I recall...childhood classmates, teachers, co-workers...people that were in my life for a time on some level that for any number of reasons I still think about from time to time without them knowing that they are still in my own memory bank.
It may even be someone I only knew briefly or encountered in my travels and interacted with for no more than a few days or even hours yet they are still there.

Life is funny.

We each live in our own private universe without being conscious that we also live in those of others...often without our awareness that in some way we left an imprint and a picture in their mind that they will take with them until the end.

I suppose it must be some sort of cosmic residue that we each spread around without our knowledge.

Maybe it gives us a good reason to be careful as to what we track in when the door is open...no matter how briefly.

'God-Hates-Fags' People Give Up When faced With PDX Silliness

2010-06-03T09:11:00.000-07:00

You are probably already familiar with the Westboro Baptist "Church" crazies that show up at funerals of soldiers with their 'God Hates Fags' signs and makes a scene with their outrageous nonsense.
Whenever they show up there is almost always a counter-protest of angry people who only seem to fuel the fire.

http://www.koinlocal6.com/content/news/topstories/story/Westboro-Baptist-demonstrators-met-by-strong/-iBXb2KaGE-on5vi6kQ4eg.cspx

I was happy to see that when they showed up yesterday and again this morning in our area they were faced with the one thing they didn't seem to know how to deal with;
Typical Portland-area silliness.

Instead of an angry mob of counter-protesters there were scores of people with silly signs; "Pac Man Hates Ghosts", "I Don't Remember Where I Parked My Car" and "I Have A Sign" were among the huge signs I saw Portlanders show up with.
The sheer number of silly signs was astonishing.
After a short while the Westboro anti-gay hate group saw that nobody was taking them seriously and they just seemed to give up and left with dumbfounded expressions.

I hope that the rest of the country takes note;
The best way to deal with these A-holes is to laugh at them.

If the response in the PDX area is any indication it would appear that laughing at them is something like throwing a bucket of water on the Wicked Witch of the West!

Never forget my friends;
You cannot reason with insanity.

Shouldn't They Be Dancing In The Streets?

2010-04-01T10:28:00.001-07:00

Let me ask you a question;
Suppose you believed that a giant asteroid were on a direct collision course with Earth. Scientists and "experts" said that it would be hitting us sometime in the next 5 years and could end life as we know it.

Now again let me emphasize; You really and truly believe the predictions of doom.

Perhaps you've been concerned about this coming cataclysm for several years now. You worry about it, you talk about it and you even hope for some way to avert the coming disaster.

Then one day scientists begin admitting that some of their data was off. Several hundreds of scientists worldwide state that it was all wrong.
Journalists and scientists alike begin uncovering information showing that the scare was based on faulty and inaccurate data.

What's more, news articles from reliable sources come out showing satellite data clearly indicating that the asteroid is not headed for Earth after all.

Wouldn't you be relieved? Wouldn't you be happy about it? Wouldn't you be dancing in the damn street?

So please explain to me why the proponents of the theory of unprecedented man-made global warming leading to catastrophe don't all start celebrating when week after week more information comes out showing that their frightening predictions of doom and gloom are wrong?

Is it possible that they didn't really believe this $h!t after all but only wanted to spread fear in order to make money and affect public policy?

Hey, I'm just askin'.

But some just may say that their "transgressions doth speak loudly."

And shouldn't those of us who bought into the fear be angry at those who mislead us?

Please bear in mind...the article below comes from an environmentalist news source;

"Something Odd for the Arctic:

"Normal" Sea Ice Extent as Winter Ends

As the winter freeze ends, there's more ice in the Arctic than at any time in recent years. Is this another PR problem for global warming activists?

Only two months ago, it looked as if the Arctic sea ice extent was trending so far below normal that it might set a new record. The extent of Arctic sea ice, a barometer on global warming and one of the most easily visualized effects of climate change, was 1 million square miles short of average throughout February.
---------------------------------------------------------

The extent of Arctic Sea Ice was within the average range throughout March 2010, the first time in many months that the extent of Arctic sea ice was anything but well below normal. In this image of the Arctic, the orange line represents the 1979-2000 median sea ice extent, and the white color represents the actual extent of sea ice on March 29, 2010."

The mini ice age starts here

2010-01-11T11:11:00.000-08:00

We now have recent reports from NASA that tell us that the outer Troposphere has not warmed at all over the past several years.
This was in contrast to prior predictions...no make that assertions... that when said data was gathered it would prove the man-made-global-warming-leading-to-catastrophe crowd to be correct in all of their warnings.

What's more, we also have the data from Project Argos which had been gathering information for 7 years on Oceanic temperatures...which was also predicted to silence the doubters...that shows that not only have the oceans not warmed significantly but have actually been cooling slightly for several years.
Let's not forget that the notion of oceanic warming was the centerpiece of the alarmist's arguments for several years.

So here's my question;
How can one be any wronger (yes, I know that's not an actual word but I like the sound of it) than when the OPPOSITE of what they've predicted happens?

You couldn't be more wrong if your name was Wrongie McWrongerson!

This latest appeared in today's UK Daily Mail;

"The bitter winter afflicting much of the Northern Hemisphere is only the start of a global trend towards cooler weather that is likely to last for 20 or 30 years, say some of the world's most eminent climate scientists.

Their predictions - based on an analysis of natural cycles in water temperatures in the Pacific and Atlantic oceans - challenge some of the global warming orthodoxy's most deeply cherished beliefs, such as the claim that the North Pole will be free of ice in summer by 2013.

According to the US National Snow and Ice Data Centre in Colorado, Arctic summer sea ice has increased by 409,000 square miles, or 26 per cent, since 2007 - and even the most committed global warming activists do not dispute this.

The scientists' predictions also undermine the standard climate computer models, which assert that the warming of the Earth since 1900 has been driven solely by man-made greenhouse gas emissions and will continue as long as carbon dioxide levels rise."

Article here;

http://www.prisonplanet.com/the-mini-ice-age-starts-here.html

Thinking It Through

2009-10-26T03:02:00.001-07:00

It often occurs to me that I, like many people, have spent a good deal of my life taking positions on various issues and topics of the day without ever really stopping to think about what my basis for taking up those positions in the first place was.

Let me explain;
Suppose there's a new law being proposed that will guarantee ice cream for everyone.
Yeah, yeah, this is starting to sound silly I know but just hang in there with me and I promise it will make sense.

So anyhow, I say "Sure! Ice cream is great! Let's go ahead and pass that law."

Now why did I take that position?
Did I do so because I like ice cream myself?
Did I do so because it sounded like something nice?

Did I give any consideration to what the implications of the government getting involved with ice cream distribution in the first place?

Perhaps I simply had a knee-jerk reaction to the proposal because I have no clear political philosophy.

So today I vote "Yes" to free ice cream but then tomorrow I vote "No" to free Root Beer.

It's like the guy who thinks that seat-belt laws are for the birds.
After all, he will tell you, it should be up to him if he wants to wear a seatbelt or not, right?
Oh but he's all for helmet laws for bikers.

Well, you see, he doesn't own a bike himself...

No real rhyme or reason.
Just reactionary thoughtless...even if well intentioned...posturing.

So maybe having a "political philosophy" sounds all heady and intellectual but it's not.

It's simply taking a little time to think about what you believe government should and should not be about.

Let me repeat that; what you believe government should and should not be about.

After all, if one doesn't at least have some sort of basic foundation then how can they take any positions with any consistency or clarity of mind?

Well, after many years of spouting my opinions and positions I finally took a step back and gave it some thought and realized that I needed some clear basis for my positions.
If this meant I would have to change some of my thinking on specific items...even in cases where it may be a bit uncomfortable to do so...I was going to do it.

I realized that unless I did so I could not honestly see myself as sincere and consistent in my views.

And after all...we aren't just leaves blowing around in the wind right?

When it was all said and done I came up with an analogy of sorts that, as simple as it most certainly sounds, clarifies my beliefs as to what government ought to be about whenever someone asks me to explain my philosophy.
Here goes.

Tomorrow some unexpected cataclysm or another hits the Earth and causes most of the population to cease to exist.

There are only a handful of us left...say a few dozen people...and there is no longer any government of any sort.

No courts, no police, no lawmakers...nothing.

So since we are going to have to be starting from square one the small number of us still remaining agree that it's in our best interests to stick together...live near one another, work alongside one another when beneficial, help our neighbor when we can and just get along.

We start organizing ourselves to dig wells for fresh water, we work together to build a storehouse for our food supply, we all take turns standing guard at night in order to ward off wild animals that would prey upon us and so on and so forth.

But after a while it seems that people are getting into the habit of coming to you, me and a guy...say his name is Fred... for advice and support.
It seems that in this post-apocalyptic world our talents and skills have caused us to become leaders of sorts and as inadvertent as this development may have been we are still seen as leaders by the others nonetheless.

And since we see it as our duty to help one another as much as possible we try to be of service to anyone who comes to us.
We really have no choice.

So as time goes by we find that whenever there's an emergency...someone’s hut is on fire, someone's baby is ill or someone is making trouble we find others coming to us and asking for our help and wisdom.
When there's an important issue and decision at hand it's we who gather everyone together to take a vote, when someone is in trouble it's we who they lean on for assistance and when there's an emergency it's we who they look to for guidance.

In other words, you, me and Fred have become a de facto government of sorts even if we didn't wish to be put into such a position.

OK?
Get the picture?

So now I have to ask myself...in what situations do we involve ourselves?

Suppose someone comes to us and says "There's a man over there trying to kill a child with a big club...you have to help us stop him!"

Would we get involved?
Of course we would!

Suppose someone comes to us and says "Someone got lost in the forest...We need to organize a search party!"

Would we get involved?
Of course we would!

But now suppose someone comes to us and says "There's a guy that goes down to the river and picks and eats some of the weeds that grow down there and then he sits around laughing and then falls asleep...We should stop him from doing that!"

Would we get involved?
I would say absolutely not.
But maybe someone else would say that we should.

I personally would take the position that what the guy is doing is none of our business.

Now if he were hurting someone else or engaging in an activity that could harm the rest of us...say trying to start fires that could burn our homes down and destroy our crops...then that would most certainly be our business.

But what he wants to eat or drink...whom he wishes to live with...even whether he wishes to participate in our society or not...

None of our business.

So there you have my political philosophy in a nutshell as it pertains to governmental authority.

Don't get me wrong.
I understand full well that when one is discussing matters of mass society things do get a tad more complex but wherever possible I always return to my basic philosophy...that simplistic image of me, you and our buddy Fred...being the ones who have to make the decisions and keep the peace...and it's usually pretty easy to know where I should stand on any given issue.

Whenever I have to take a position on any given proposal to create or change laws or public policy I ask myself what, if I were the one who had to decide, my position would be.

I think that by simply doing such a mental exercise I've attained a much clearer philosophy and foundation upon which to base my opinions and can state my thoughts sincerely, honestly and perhaps most importantly, with some degree of consistency.

What about you?

Have you ever stopped and really thought through what you believe government should be involved in and just as it importantly what it should not be involved in?

It's surprising when you realize that a large number of people have never taken the time to do so.

Once you do what I did you may find that you see many things in a different light and that "different light" just may be what you needed to illuminate your way.

Nobel Prize - not what it used to be!

2009-10-10T08:34:00.000-07:00

My topic header was in the subject line of an email I received.

This was my response;

"Not what it used to be"?

Maybe WE need to start paying more attention and realize that the Nobel peace Prize never DID mean anything other that that one was approved of by those on the Left.
Oh and by the way...I have yet to hear anyone mention that Gandhi was never given the nod by the Novel committee.

Still, the worst thing we can say about President Obama receiving the "Prize" is that he has done nothing to deserve it.

Want to hear about some other previous winners of the Nobel Peace Prize?

Yasser Arafat
The terrorist leader who promoted violence and hatred toward the Jewish people and victimized his own in order to gain power.
This award actually caused at least one member of the Nobel committee to resign.

Cordell Hull
Roosevelt's Secretary of State who pressured the president to turn away a ship of 950 Jewish refugees seeking asylum from Nazi persecution.
The ship was forced to return to Germany and many of the passengers ultimately ended up dying in Concentration Camps.

Rigoberta Menchú
A leftist who was a tool of the Marxists in order to further their communist agenda and lent her name to a book of her "biography" which turned out to be nothing but a fabricated account of her life written by, not her as she had claimed, but by a French Communist.

Wangari Maathai
The Kenyan environmental and political activist who helped to promote the idea that HIV was invented by white scientists in order to murder and wipe out black people.

Jimmy Carter
The ex-President who has shown himself to be an anti-Semite and helped to undermine the confidence of our troops and citizens by accusing President Bush of exploiting the suffering of Sept. 11 and, more recently, has said that those who do not support Obama's move toward a socialist system of health care are racists.

Al Gore
The man who continues to promote the myth of catastrophic man-made Global Warming in order to line his own pockets with millions of dollars from the green technology companies he invests in.

No my friends, the Nobel Peace Prize never did mean anything. At least nothing truly good.

We just weren't paying attention.

"Everything happens for a reason."

2009-09-10T17:28:00.000-07:00

Someone said something to me at the gym this morning and I began to think about how often I hear this;

"Everything happens for a reason."

Of course the suggestion is that there is some divine, mystic or cosmic reason behind every little thing.

I have what may be an unusual take on things;
To me, God, evolution and nature are all one and the same in terms of explaining why or how most things happen.

By that I mean that if one believes in any of the above I see the end result as the same.

As an example, are we wired to be attracted to the opposite sex because a creator designed us that way or because evolution developed us in such a way?
What difference does it make? Either way we are wired as we are so that we can reproduce and continue our species.

But when it comes to everyday business and ultimately meaningless situations how does any of the above factor in?

Here's what happened;
The local Bally's has been going down hill for a while and finally closed it's doors. This means that the members have migrated to other gyms in the area.
I ran into a guy I'd seen before at the other gym and we began talking about how much more convenient the previous facility was and how this new place was going to take some getting used to.
"Well," the guy said, "I figure everything happens for a reason".

Really? You think that there is some cosmic or divine purpose in our working out at 24 Hour Fitness instead of Bally's?
Iran is developing nukes yet the divine powers that be are more concerned with our workouts?
Isn't it possible that the "reason" is no more complicated than poor business management?

A friend of mine was one of those people that ran out during the housing frenzy and bought a house that they couldn't afford on an adjustable rate loan.
When the payments were adjusted (after that attractive initial rate ran out) he found that he can barely make the payments.

At a recent get together someone asked him if he was still struggling with his problematic mortgage situation to which he replied "I figure that the Lord is behind this and everything will work out the way he planned it".

Really?!?
The creator of the universe somehow engineered your decision to be irresponsible and take out a loan that you shouldn't have?

Isn't it possible that whatever cosmic powers that be stay out of it and allows assholes to learn from their own mistakes?

I hear this stuff all of the time.

So if I don't look where I'm going and I bump into a car with my shopping cart there is actually some bigger plan that it's all a part of?

I get drunk and forget my condom so the resulting pregnancy was predestined?

If the pizza delivery guy is late getting to my house is there some divine purpose behind that too?

Man.

People.

Who needs 'em!

Yes, I'm still alive!

2009-07-13T00:30:00.000-07:00

I look at my watch it say 9:25 and I think
"Oh God I'm still alive"

We should be on by now.

To be continued...

Keeping a Clear Head.

2008-03-17T16:37:00.001-07:00

Politics and world events.

Yeesh.

So just how does one stay on top of the political world, in terms of the biggest issues of our day, without coming to the point that they need to go out and get drunk or simply shoot themselves in the head?

I'm one those people who didn't pay much attention to politics until 9-11.

Yeah, shame on me.

Of course I was aware of the hostage crisis in Iran, the fall of the USSR thanks to Ronald Reagan's tough stance in world politics, the whole keyhole-peeping period when Bill Clinton was publicly humiliated...but then again, who could have possibly escaped an awareness of such high profile situations?

Since 9-11 I've decided to begin paying closer attention.

Through my many hours of reading everything I could get my hands on I've learned more than I could ever want to know about the very real threat of Islamo-facism, the very UNreal threat of man-made global warming and about all of the differences between the two, less-than-perfect, major political parties in our country when it comes to world affairs, American values and issues of personal freedom.

Of course in the end I came to realize that the two parties could easily be renamed as the stupid party and the insane party...but when it comes to those issues that I feel are paramount I have no choice but to throw down with one of them even if I don't agree with them 100% all of the time.

Frankly, if you are NOT seeking a career in public office yet CLAIM to agree with either party 100% of the time I would suggest that you are either 100% deluded or 100% dishonest.

But forgive me for I digress;

The truth is that despite my desire...my duty...to be a well informed voter I often find myself turning the TV from the evening news to reruns of The Man Show in order to escape the depressing and never-ending stream of rhetoric, sensationalism and mud-slinging that flows through the conduit of the media.

I find myself skipping past the CNN and Drudge Report websites and going to straight to Fark.com or Page3.com in order to relieve the pressure on my brain.

After all, news about stupid criminals or photos of bikini-clad British cuties is infinitely more appealing than the latest on who's throat has been cut by some group of savages (on camera!) or which politician has been caught hiding bribes in his freezer.

So how does one continue on as a well-informed citizen while not being driven to the brink of despair?

How does one keep a positive attitude without burying their head in the sand and becoming the all-too-common uninformed...yet highly opinionated...voter?

Beats me.

Maybe they should legalize pot and start giving a major discount on Moon-pies and Frito's.

That way we can smoke and munch while we sit in front of the evening news absorbing all of the fearsome and angering information we need while knowing that it's worth hanging on a bit longer...if only for that next toke and combination of sweet and crunchy at our finger tips.

In any event, keep your chin up and hold fast pilgrim;

The bumpy ride may only be getting bumpier but there will be...there has to be...a light at the end of the tunnel.

We just need to keep on keepin' on until that light is once again within sight.

Happy Holidays Y'all !

2007-12-20T10:40:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to take a moment to wish everyone a warm season's greetings.

I know that this time of year we can all get so busy that we hardly have a spare moment but I hope that we will all take a few minutes to reflect on the importance of the season and those we care about.

RAIN MAKES ME GRUMPY

2006-11-11T16:21:00.000-08:00

OK I admit it.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today and the crummy weather here in the Northwest doesn't help.

Still, while out and about I saw some of the things that I ALWAYS see and have my own personal thoughts on.
These are not new ideas born of my crummy mood.

I think all of these same things when I'm in a terrific humor on a sunny day.

But since it is "one of those days" here in Vancouver I thought I'd come here and vent...OK?

Here we go.

1. If you dress like a thug or a "gangsta" and folks like me don't smile at you or prefer to avoid you all together don't be insulted;
Just take joy in the knowledge that your attempt to look like a criminal was effective.

Still...I would like to ask how it is that when you are wearing pants so huge that you cannot walk without constantly holding them up you plan to be able to run from the po-leese?

2. Similar to #1;
If you are a 300 pound girl and you dress wildly, shave one side of your head and then dye the remaining hair bright purple (to go along with the fifty piercings you have in your ears, eyebrows, nose, lips and god-only-know-where-else) don't be insulted of you catch me fighting a smirk or rolling my eyes when I catch a glimpse of you.

After all, YOU are the one who decided to dress like some bizarre clown from the Satanic Traveling Circus in order to get attention.

Well...it worked honey!

3. Repeat after me;

There is no "cool" way to push a shopping cart.

This crap of walking to the side and slightly ahead of the cart while holding onto the front corner with one hand as though you are trying to avoid being seen with the shopping cart ain't working for you; It just takes up triple the isle space so that those of use who want to get by you have no choice but to walk slowly behind you and take note of how huge your butt is.

See that handle on the back of the cart?

It was made just for you and your two hands.

That handle is your friend.

Learn about it. Love it. USE it!.

4. If you cut your seven year old son's hair in a Mohawk and dress in him camouflage pants and a black sleeveless T-shirt don't have a heart attack someday when he starts dealing Meth or ends up on Cops.

And when you take him out in public don't kid yourself that the people looking your way are thinking "Wow...what a cool dad that cute little tyke must have!"

It's more likely that the people staring at you in the parking lot will be trying to see your car's license plate so that they can call Child Protective Services.

5. For those of you who, like me, like to grab a coffee drink at the coffee cart while you are shopping let me be the first to inform you of something which just might shock you;

There is not, nor has there ever been, any such thing as a shot of EX-presso.

Look at the word.

NO 'X'.

NO 'K'...NO 'C'.

So unless you have a tongue piercing (like the girl in my example #2 above) which forces you to sound like you are saying "Mixter" instead of "Mister" you have no excuse.

OK.

That's it for now.

I feel better having gotten all of that off my chest.

Thanks for listening.

Maybe I should cut back on the ESS-PRESSO?

More Police Brutality

2006-10-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

Violent Mental Patients=GOOD
Police On The Street=BAD!

There you go.

That's all you need to know.

I just made your life much easier now that I turned you on to the way you are expected to view any news item you come across involving any interaction between your local police department and the dregs of society.

It never ceases to amaze me when people actually do seem to think in these terms.

Every one of us pays the price of crime whether it be directly or indirectly. Our society is just a little less safe any time a criminal with a history of mental disease is turned into the street and every time an individual with a mental disorder is ignored by their family or health officials who fail to see to it that the individual gets the attention they need.

And of course there are those who simply refuse to accept the treatment they need.

In each case the rest of us...you know, those of us who just want to live our lives and raise our families...are at the mercy of the pyschotics, sociopaths and schizophrenics who wander the streets.

Here in my own hometown of Portland we recently had not one, but two incidents in which an individual attempted to grab a toddler and run with them in broad daylight.

Fortunately these individuals were caught before they got very far. In each case the person was a homeless person with a "history of mental illness".
Not so fortunate was the young 16 year old girl working at a local fast food restaurant who was stabbed in the heart by a man she had never seen before who calmly walked into the restaurant and killed her.

Like the men in the first two incidents I mentioned this man had a "history of mental illness".

These stories are hardly unique and all one need do is watch their nightly news to see the rapes, molestations and every other crime from public indecency to murder which occur nearly every day in every city in every state across the country.

Am I saying that each and every homeless person is a ticking time bomb of violence? No.

But we don't know which ones are and which ones are not.

And guess what?

Neither do the local police.

The police who we expect to deal with all of the nasty and often dangerous stuff that the rest of us do not wish to deal with on our own.

So why is it then that so many are so quick to blame the police every time there's an incident which involves a drug crazed or mentally ill person getting injured by involving themselves in an altercation with the police?

Now do I know that there are times when the police do handle things wrong and then attempt to cover up their misdeeds?
Of course!

But I don't believe that to be the norm.

Yet people seem to want to view every incident as if the bad guys are never actually doing anything wrong and the police just decided to beat someone's ass for amusement.

A good example of this is the recent death of a homeless man with a "history of mental illness" by the name of James Chasse.

Now let's take a look at what we know from the news reports;

A grubby looking man was spotted relieving himself in public. You, know, right out there in front of women, children and God himself?

The police spotted the guy and called out to him to stay where he was.

As the police approached him he began running and screaming maniacally.
When the police caught up and attempted to stop him he began fighting them even resorting to biting them like a rabid animal.

What followed is being questioned by the public as well as the homeless man's family members but it appears that a wrestling match of sorts ensued and at some point a large cop fell onto Mr. Chasse breaking his ribs.

He was cuffed and lie on the sidewalk waiting to be transported to jail.
Once the officers realized that Mr. Chasse was injured they arranged to take him to Portland Adventist Hospital but due to his injuries (a rib had pierced his lung) Mr. Chasse died on the way.

Of course an investigation was undertaken and based upon the ample recorded conversations between the police and other officials including health care workers James Chasse's death was ruled accidental.

Now remember that formula?
Violent Mental Patients=GOOD, police On The Street=BAD?

This seems to be the knee jerk reaction of many in our community.

But even more disturbing is that Mr. Chasse's parents seemed to materialize out of nowhere after years of distance from their mentally ill adult son and of course they have a lawyer in tow who will no doubt be seeking monetary damages from the city.

Do they have a legitimate case and will the Portland Police indeed be found guilty of some wrongdoing?

I don't know.

But going by the available news reports (which is the only way any of us even know of the case at all) it seems that the police did nothing wrong at least not intentionally.

If they did I hope they are exposed and the guilty parties are made accountable.

But when we reduce our thinking patterns to simple assumptions based on our own prejudices and posturing it doesn't help the homeless or mentally ill, it doesn't deal with the real misconduct on the part of authorities and it certainly doesn't prevent things like the above from happening.

Maybe those who are truly concerned about the homeless and mentally ill on our city streets should look into volunteering some of their time to helping out in any one of the many missions and outreach programs we have which desperately need help.

You see this way you will know that you are actually helping to make a difference in some small way rather than just sneering at the television from the comfort of your sofa.

And making a small difference...a real one...is infinitely better than making no difference at all.

Think about it.

No, I mean REALLY think about it.

Mad Max ; A True Threat!

2006-08-05T16:19:00.000-07:00

Yes, the subject line is tongue in cheek.

I'm sure that everyone, Jew and Gentile alike, has heard of actor Mel Gibson's drunken tirade in which he said that the Jews are responsible for most of the world's problems.

Now was this drunken idiocy just the whiskey talkin' or Mr. Gibson's innermost feelings...his personal demons...coming to the surface?

Should we care?

Should we care so much that the headlines displace the war in Iraq, the Israeli struggle with terrorists, the growing nuclear threat in the world or even our local weather for that matter?

I don't know what kind of a person Mel Gibson is but I do know this;

It's usually pretty safe to assume that anyone in Hollywood has the intellect and morals of a goat.

I expect little from any of our movie and pop stars in the way of spiritual or moral leadership...or even personal conduct for that matter.

Those that do appear to be decent human beings? Great.

But when they act like horse's asses?

No shock to me.

Frankly I'd rather they all kept their religious, social and
political ideas to themselves.
I can enjoy them jumping around in silly costumes and beating up the bad guys that way.

Still, let's put this in perspective;

We have Hilary Clinton quoted as calling her husband's
campaign manager, Paul Fray, a "Jew bastard" and later
sitting at the feet of Yassir Arafat and accusing Israel of using poison to kill Palestinian women and children!

Bill Clinton, the darling of the Democratic party, was known by his associates to speak with admiration of Adolf
Hitler and his techniques.

Clinton consultant Dick Morris and Arkansas Clinton guard Larry Patterson have told of Hillary saying things that sound
shockingly anti-Jewish.

And of course we all know about the honorable Jesse
Jackson (sarcasm meter on 'high') calling Jews
"Hymies" and referring to New York as "Hymie Town"...

I wonder how the black community would have responded if there were reports of a high profile Jewish leader and political figure referring to Compton as "Nigger Town" ?

Can you say "riots in the streets"?

But none of that seems to matter.

No, the VERY sober hate speech and use of anti-Semitic
slurs by those on the left who actually wield power,
influence millions of people and either hold or seek to hold the highest seats of authority in our nation don't bother the left or the power brokers in Hollywood and the media.

But a drunk guy who stars in movies about running bikers off
the road and fighting monsters from outer space...HIS words are EARTH SHAKING!

Thank goodness that Paris Hilton has never uttered any
racial slurs while dancing the night away in a drunken stupor.

That would surely be the end of civilization as we know
it...assuming of course that we use the same sliding scale of
judgment that the media and many on the left adhere to.

Stop the world please.

I want to get off.

Is The Sky Really Falling?

2006-04-17T08:01:00.000-07:00

Just how many times now have we had prophecies of doom and gloom pushed onto us?

And ask yourself this; Just how many of them have actually come true?

In the 1970s we were told that we were headed for an ice age and that the Soviets and the US were certainly going to end up in a thermonuclear war which would decimate the earth.

In the 1980s we were told that our oceans were so polluted that not only were they well beyond saving but that there would be virtually no sea life left by the year 2000.

In the 1990s we were told that a hole in the Ozone layer was going to result in catastrophe and...here's my favorite...that at midnight on Dec. 31 1999 the dreaded Y2K calamity would occur which would result in everything shutting down and worldwide chaos.

Every step along the way those of us who didn't buy into the foolishness were called narrow-minded, uncaring and ignorant.

So far the number of these frightening predictions that have come true is....ZERO.

So how about considering a different perspective on the whole global warming scare?

Here's a nifty little piece I found on a UK website that can be found here.

You may also wish to check out this article by George Will.

Green Myths On Global Warming — Debunked

#1 MYTH;
Planet earth is currently undergoing global warming
FACT
Accurate and representative temperature measurements from satellites and balloons show that the planet has cooled significantly in the last two or three years, losing in only 18 months 15% of the claimed warming which took over 100 years to appear — that warming was only one degree fahrenheit (half of one degree Celsius) anyway, and part of this is a systematic error from groundstation readings which are inflated due to the 'urban heat island effect' i.e. local heat retention due to urban sprawl, not global warming...and it is these, 'false high' ground readings which are then programmed into the disreputable climate models, which live up to the GIGO acronym — garbage in, garbage out.

#2 MYTH
Even slight temperature rises are disastrous, ice caps will melt, people will die
FACT
In the UK, every mild winter saves 20,000 cold-related deaths, and scaled up over northern Europe mild winters save hundreds of thousands of lives each year, also parts of ice caps are melting yet other parts are thickening but this isn't reported as much (home experiment: put some water in a jug or bowl, add a layer of ice cubes and mark the level — wait until the ice has melted and look again, the level will have fallen). Data from ice core samples shows that in the past, temperatures have risen by ten times the current rise, and fallen again, in the space of a human lifetime.

#3 MYTH
Carbon Dioxide levels in our atmosphere at the moment are unprecedented (high).
FACT
Atmospheric carbon dioxide levels, currently only 350 parts per million have been over 18 times higher in the past at a time when cars, factories and power stations did not exist — levels rise and fall without mankind's help.

#4 MYTH
Mankind is pumping out carbon dioxide at a prodigious rate.
FACT
96.5% of all carbon dioxide emissions are from natural sources, mankind is responsible for only 3.5%, with 0.6% coming from fuel to move vehicles, and about 1% from fuel to heat buildings. Yet vehicle fuel (petrol) is taxed at 300% while fuel to heat buildings is taxed at 5% even though buildings emit nearly twice as much carbon dioxide!

#5 MYTH
Carbon dioxide changes in the atmosphere cause temperature changes on the earth.
FACT
A report in the journal 'Science' in January of this year showed using information from ice cores with high time resolution that since the last ice age, every time when the temperature and carbon dioxide levels have shifted, the carbon dioxide change happened AFTER the temperature change, so that man-made global warming theory has put effect before cause — this shows that reducing carbon dioxide emissions is a futile King Canute exercise! What's more, both water vapour and methane are far more powerful greenhouse gases than carbon dioxide but they are ignored.

#6 MYTH
Reducing car use will cut carbon dioxide levels and save the planet
FACT
The planet does not need saving, but taking this on anyway, removing every car from every road in every country overnight would NOT produce any change in the carbon dioxide level of the atmosphere, as can be seen using the numbers from Fact 4, and in any case it is pointless trying to alter climate by changing carbon dioxide levels as the cause and effect is the other way round — it is changes in the activity of the Sun that cause temperature changes on earth, with any temperature rise causing carbon dioxide to de-gas from the oceans.

#7 MYTH
The recent wet weather and flooding was caused by mankind through 'global warming'
FACT
Extreme weather correlates with the cycle of solar activity, not carbon dioxide emissions or political elections, the recent heavy rainfall in winter and spring is a perfect example of this — it occurred at solar maximum at a time when solar maxima are very intense — this pattern may well repeat every 11 years until about 2045.

#8 MYTH
The climate change levy, petrol duty, CO2 car tax and workplace parking charges are justifiable environmental taxes.
FACT
As carbon dioxide emissions from cars and factories does not have any measurable impact on climate, these taxes are 'just another tax' on enterprise and mobility, and have no real green credentials.

#9 MYTH
Scientists on the Inter-governmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) issue reports that say 'global warming' is real and that we must do something now.
FACT
Scientists draft reports for the IPCC, but the IPCC are bureaucrats appointed by governments, in fact many scientists who contribute to the reports disagree with the 'spin' that the IPCC and media put on their findings.
The latest report suggests that the next 100 years might see a temperature change of 6 Celsius yet a Lead Author for the IPCC (Dr John Christy UAH/NASA) has pointed out that the scenarios with the fastest warming rates were added to the report at a late stage, at the request of a few governments — in other words the scientists were told what to do by politicians.

#10 MYTH
There are only a tiny handful of maverick scientists who dispute that man-made global warming theory is true.
FACT
There are nearly 18,000 signatures from scientists worldwide on a petition called The Oregon Petition which says that there is no evidence for man-made global warming theory nor for any impact from mankind's activities on climate.
Many scientists believe that the Kyoto agreement is a total waste of time and one of the biggest political scams ever perpetrated on the public ... as H L Mencken said "the fundamental aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed, and hence clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary" ... the desire to save the world usually fronts a desire to rule it.

The Left Vs. Fascism: Why We Gave Up

2006-01-13T05:24:00.000-08:00

The blog by humorist and L.A. radio personality Phil Hendrie doesn't seem to be up and running any longer which is sad;

Phil has a sharp mind and the views he expressed on his blog were always insightful, honest and even educational.

One of his best entries came around the end of last summer and I think it's worth preserving as it gives voice to something we don't hear often;
The thoughts of an honest liberal.

To that end let me reproduce Phil's words; I hope he won't mind.

"The Left Vs. Fascism: Why We Gave Up

Good Morning!

During the last century, the battle against fascism, whether it's perpetrators were Franco's National Front, Mussolini's "New Roman Empire", Hitler's National Socialists or Tojo's Militarists, was led by liberals and leftists. It was fought primarily with the weapons of war and the consequence, besides ultimate victory, was bloodletting and death. It was marshaled by the leadership of Roosevelt and the propaganda of Hollywood. It was a battle from which no one on the left turned away. It was a fight against Super Power Fascism inhabiting major states on both sides of the globe, a fascism that was homophobic, anti-Semitic, anti-woman, anti-trade union and anti-democratic.

Today the heir to the murder machinery of 20Th century fascism is the Fundamentalist Islamic Theocratic movement which is no less homophobic, anti-Semitic, anti-woman, anti-trade union and anti-democratic. It seeks to force regional, if not, global hegemony. And making its lineage to the fascists of 20Th century Europe and Asia indelible, it's weapon is terror. Terror is a part of its charter. It is rationalized by the idea of a religious mission that would drive non-believers from designated "holy lands" and re-establishing Caliphate rule, an era of Islamic ascendancy, through force. This mission is, of course, no more religious than Hitler's "sacred vow" to wipe from the earth Bolshevism or Japan's "divine" drive to establish a "Prosperity Sphere" in Asia.

Today's leftist and liberal does not wish to fight this new fascism because its matrix is the Third World. The Third World is a sacred place to my leftist and liberal friends because beneath its sands and jungles and bazaars is buried, in their minds, any right America thought it had to self-defense, whether economic, political or religious.

The reason given for this, by my friends on the left, is that the United States created the The Third World as it exists today by way of slavery, military and political coercion, espionage and economic exploitation. Did I mention the CIA? It's impossible, they argue, for the U.S. to make any rightful claim against any agency or entity originating there, however morally degenerate, since the United States, through its actions, made this evil "necessary." They will tell you that American interest in any part of the world stems from American corporate interest. What they forget is that American corporate interest is the interest of corporations employing people and serving stockholders. Leftists and liberals work for corporations the same as everybody else. It's like the infant-minded, quasi-liberal suburban housewife gassing up her Ford Explorer to head down to the "No War For Oil" rally. Then they hit bottom. Their logic has led them to conclude that national suicide, or in the very least some form of acceptable casualty rate among our people, from terrorist attack is probably preferable to any further intercession in the time-line of life in The Third World. Hypocrites.

We liberals from time to time say we would endorse, without a tremor, the military option if convinced that the individual agency being targeted was "GUILTY." Hence the hand-wringing over "proof" of WMDs. This is like asking a cop to make sure the perpetrator he arrests is "GUILTY" before taking him into custody. What constrains a cop in his investigation of a crime should no less constrain a democracy similarly charged to protect its people. In short and in police parlance, following the mass murder of 9/11, the United States had "reasonable suspicion" to target not only Afghanistan but Iraq as well. Some of that "reasonable suspicion" with regard to Iraq may be found in the Clinton Administrations murder indictment of Osama Bin Laden where numerous links to Saddam Hussein are cited. It is uncomfortable terrain to traverse for some because it is resistant to factional rhetoric

In the end, however, I'm afraid I can't attribute to my friends on the left simply a lack of honest historical scrutiny any more than I can say that a stomach ache is caused by a stomach ache. The post-Vietnam war leftist and liberal is bourgeois. His battleground has been the living rooms of friends. He also makes the occasional field trip to WTO meetings where he hopes his demonstration of solidarity with the oppressed will shield him from the casually tossed backpack-full-of-nails-and-dynamite on a train. In his nostalgia for the halcyon days of anti-war action that was the Vietnam era, he is ignorant of the much larger historical picture that shows us why we are where we are. And he's a coward. The future is violent. The war is on. Everyday brings him closer to the edge he's been walking backwards toward since 9/11 but he just can't man up.

While the factionalism of conservatives and liberals continues to waste our precious time as a country, at least conservatives seem to have not only direction but, for the moment, a correct heading. The liberal movement in America, of which I have been a part since campaigning for Eugene McCarthy during my high school years, drifts further and further away from us. It is utterly deluded by the moneyed company it keeps. It's reduced to a reactionary rabble. It's cranky and noisy and complains about the draft from an open window like an old woman. It is the beginning of a new conservative movement. And we don't need one more of those.

Phil"

Katrina; The Wrath of God?

2005-09-05T12:54:00.000-07:00

I have heard some comment that the destruction wrought by hurricane Katrina is surely a sign that God has sent his judgment upon this decadent city.

New Orleans, after all, is the home of the alcohol soaked hedonism of the annual Mardi Gras celebration and...well, God has just had enough.

You see every now and then when a society has just gone too dang far over the line...well, he just blows his top and decides it's time to clean house.

Of course none of this explains why the storm also destroyed the homes and lives of the areas' thousands of peace loving and often Christian population along with their churches, synagogues and schools.

Well, some may say, if there were some of God's own people who happened to be in the way as he wiped out this modern Sodom and Gomorrah so be it.

So then what about the small town of Waveland Mississippi which was also wiped out as it took the hardest hit of any towns affected by the hurricane?
The innocent people, their children their schools and churches?

What of the mostly conservative Christian population of Biloxi Mississippi which was also devastated?

Did God somehow make a miscalculation when he hurled his judgment at New Orleans and say "Whoops! Sorry" when those towns also got wiped out by the hurricane?

Guess his aim isn't as good as it used to be, huh?

Of course the city of San Fransisco with it's immense homosexual population, supporters of NAMBLA (the organization which supports sexual relations between men and young boys), it's never ending gay pride parades, adult book stores, bath houses and decidedly anti-Christian attitudes and practices has seen no such "judgment".

As a matter of a fact San Fransisco thrives.

It's population gets to enjoy a beautiful city with wonderful weather and reap the benefits of it's strong and stable economy.

What of the state of Palestine which seeks to drive the people of Israel, God's chosen people according to scripture, from the homeland that was promised to them from on high?

What of the Islamo-fascists of the Middle East who openly attempt to destroy Christians, Jews and any other innocent person who doesn't agree with their terrorist agenda?

What of the enemies of Israel who speak of "driving the Jews into the sea" and out of existence?

No, God just doesn't seem to think that any of these cities, countries or people are particularly worthy of his judgment right now.

His primary concern was teaching New Orleans a lesson.

After all, college girls flash their boobies at passersby once a year as they celebrate Mardi Gras.

And as for the innocent people...Christians, Jews, children, old people and entire towns that got in the way as his threw that cosmic Frisbee of judgment in the general direction of New Orleans and so suffered and perished...

"Whoops!"

Addendum

A friend read this piece and I was astonished that he had interpreted my words as an indication that I scoff at the idea of Divine judgment in the age in which we live.

This concerned me quite a bit. After all, if my meaning was misunderstood by a friend then how much more likely is it that it could be misunderstood by those who don't know me?

There's one thing that I wish to always be and that one thing is clear and so I thought it best that I add this final bit in order to make myself understood;

No, I do not scoff at the idea of Divine retribution in this age or any other;
My words in the piece are meant to mirror the type of thinking and logic...make that the lack of thinking and logic...on the part of those who set themselves up as authorities on what is and is not an act of God especially as it applies to tragedies and natural disasters (typically those which affect others).

In the story of Job from the Old Testament we see how Job's suffering is declared by his friends to be a certain sign that he is experiencing the consequences of his sins at the hand of the Almighty when in fact nothing could be farther from the truth.

As someone else stated "God's workings are beyond man's ability to fathom. Man simply cannot tie all the "loose ends" of the Lord's purposes together. We must learn to trust in God, no matter the circumstances."

Suffering is not always the result of personal sin nor do the righteous necessarily prosper and thrive in this world; Scripture does indeed tell us that in this world the wicked will often prosper while the righteous often suffer.

I don't know the mind of God and neither do you.

That's why we trust.

So next time you suspect that a natural disaster could be a sign that God is punishing someone else?

Keep it to yourself.

Better yet...Go open the Bible and read the story of Job and then ask yourself if you would have sided with his well meaning "friends".

Ya Know What I'm Sayin' ?

2005-07-12T22:24:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one who has been noticing just how commonplace it seems to be for people who work with the public to ask questions which are either incredibly idiotic or are meant to correct you on some meaningless point?

Here are the ones that I run into the most frequently;

I go into a coffee shop (typically part of a large franchise) and order a small coffee.

"Do you mean a tall?" asks the pinhead behind the counter in a smug tone as they hesitate, their finger poised above the button on the register.

Don't ask me that! You know damn skippy what I want!

Let's see...you have three different sizes...one which is the smallest, one which is the largest and then one in between..

What do you think Einstein?

I don't give a rat's ass what your company calls it...tall, grande and venti...mini, regular and enormous...or Pee-Wee, Average and Darn Honkin'...It all still amounts to the same thing;

Small, medium and large!

But of course you already knew that didn't you?
You just wanted to play dumb in order to establish some sort of momentary sense of authority over me by forcing me to speak in the jargon that you do.

Well I ain't doin' it sister!

I said a small and I meant a small!!!

Now push the damn button and take my money!

No tip for you...not even a tall one!

So next I go into a grocery store.
I pick up a dozen eggs, a package of tortillas, a quart of milk and a couple of apples.

After the cashier has totaled my items and taken my money he asks me "Did you want a bag?"

Did I want a bag?

You have to ask?

Why would they even ask this question?!?

I understand if I just had a candy bar or a soda but I've actually had these morons ask me if I wanted a bag when I had a half of a cart's worth of stuff.

Next time this happens I'm just going to say "Oh no, just stick the carton of eggs under my left arm, the tortillas under my right and stick the apples in my pockets, OK? Oh and could you roll up the copy of Newsweek and stick it down the front of my pants? Thanks!"

How much you want to bet that they actually do it?

And the next one...well, I don't know if this is incredibly stupid or an attempt at being crafty...while still being incredibly stupid;

I just finished a meal in a restaurant and the total was six bucks give-or-take.
The waiter or waitress (no, not "server"...wait-ER or wait-RESS) puts the check on my table in one of those little plastic trays and says that they'll be back in a minute to pick it up.

I set a twenty dollar bill on the little tray along with the bill.

The waiter or waitress picks up the tray knowing full well how much the meal came to, sees the twenty and asks...with an innocent look mind you...

"Did you need any change back?"

Change? Of course not!

Why that one time you refilled my beverage alone was well worth a fourteen dollar tip!
As a matter of a fact, I was thinking about heading out to the ATM just so I could draw out a few more twenties and toss 'em your way!

Now get me my damn change before I call the cops!

Look, I know that working with the public is no piece of cake. People can be obnoxious, demanding and downright unreasonable.

But if you do work behind the counter at a Starbucks, a grocery store or as a waitress you and I both know the reason; You didn't go to college...and if you did?

Well then double shame on you!

At least the Puerto Rican girl who got knocked up by her cousin and had to drop out of high school has some sort of excuse no matter how pathetic.
But if you did go to college and all you have to show for it is a job where you spend the day asking people if they wanted whipped cream on their mocha...well, 'nuff said about that.

My point is just this;

The people in society...like the ones you deal with sometimes...are going to be jerks no matter what but if you don't want the rest of us to think you're a moron, a little snot or a moronic little snot then just do what common sense would dictate.

Give me what I ask for even if I didn't use the company jargon (c'mon and admit it...you hate it yourself!), put my stuff in bag (although I suppose it is OK to ask me if I want "paper or plastic") and get me my change when I'm paying for my meal without trying to dupe me into leaving an exorbitant tip ('cause it ain't happening Lucinda!).

In other words...

Stop the madness!

Why I love the city

2005-06-28T10:52:00.000-07:00

While many may sing the glories of country living or small-town life (and understandably so) I have to say that while my wife, Julie, and I were out last night I was all at once aware of so many things that I love about the city;

The buildings;
Old next to new, humble next to extravagant. One window displaying the retro-clothing from another time now back in style while through another window you can see a cat, a potted plant and a TV...a peek into a whole world which is someone else's life.

The smells;
Coffee from the shop we're sitting in front of, the odor of steak or burgers being grilled a few doors down, exhaust fumes, flowers blooming, cigarette smoke, someone's cologne...these smells come and go.. sometimes quickly...sometimes lingering.

The sounds;
People talking, laughing, arguing and calling to their dogs to "come on"...plates clanking together inside the restaurant next door, music from street musicians and passing car's radios, the sound of a bird in the tree above me and the rumble of passing cars and motorcycles.

The people;
The punked out kids in their leather, the well-heeled couples behind the large window of a bistro drinking their wine, the groups of pretty college girls giggling as they bounce past in their flirty summer clothes, the scowling bikers on the corner sitting in front of "Starbucks" with their venti lattes and the guy with the guitar sitting in the doorway singing and playing in hopes that another dollar or two will be dropped into his open guitar case.

Then there's me in my hawaiin shirt;

Sitting at the little metal table along the sidewalk with Julie just taking it all in.

I'm glad to be right here, right now.

I love the city.

Why I Still Eat Meat

2005-04-26T18:55:00.000-07:00

I have looked into vegetarianism from different points of view and in the end I've come to the conclusion that it is neither a healthy nor wise way of life.

Now while I'll admit that everyone's dietary needs are different I am convinced that everyone does need some portion of meat...and I do mean red meat (gasp!) in their diet albeit in varying quantities.

My own experience has been that when I don't eat meat~or not enough of it~my energy level,physical strength and sex drive all suffer.

If only for the sake of argument I'll say that there must surely be some healthy vegetarians out there but to be completely honest about it I have personally never known one.
The vegetarians I've known have never been the picture of health even though they were convinced that they were living a superior lifestyle in terms of how they ate.

There have been stories in the news about babies dieing or suffering tremendous health problems due to malnutrition because of their parent's choice to subject them to a vegetarian diet.Doctors have also seen malformation of genitals in little boys and even adults going blind because of a vegan or vegetarian diet.

Now there are those in the vegetarian lifestyle who would have you believe that human beings are neither omnivorous or carnivorous but that our systems match that of an herbivore.

The truth of the matter is that our intestinal tract is not quite as long as that of an herbivore nor is it as short as that of an carnivore. It is actually somewhere in between.Probably closer to that of the herbivore.

Our stomachs also produce the acids designed for the digestion of meat and our pancreas produces the digestive elements needed for consuming both meat and vegetables all of which in my mind is pretty strong evidence that whether it be by evolutionary process or divine engineering we are designed to eat both.

There are those that sell herbal "cleansing" products and colonic machines who like to spread the idea that meat stays in your digestive system for months or even years.

All you need to do to hear the truth on this is to talk to any nursing student who has taken part in an autopsy or a doctor who practices forensic medicine and they'll tell you that it's astounding just how clean and pink the inside of the human intestines actually are.

You see, in contrast to what those who want to sell you something will tell you our digestive system does NOT resemble the copper drainage pipes which run from your kitchen sink.

Your intestines are made up of living tissue which contracts, expands, moves, lubricates and cleans itself.

Think you need some "cleansing"? Increase the fiber in your diet and take a couple of tablespoons of mineral oil. Just that simple.

Now on a different note I often hear vegetarians ask the question "How would you feel about eating meat if you actually had to kill the animal yourself?" and I must admit that if we did have to kill the animal ourselves we would see things differently but not in quite the way that vegetarians are thinking.

What do I mean?

I believe that we have become detached from the very basics of living and have created such a sanitized wall-to-wall carpeted version of reality that we really do seem to think that electricity comes from a little plastic plate in the wall, water comes from a stainless steel faucet in the kitchen and meat comes from the super-market wrapped in neat little cellophane packages.

Most of us never get so much as a speck of dirt under our fingernails.

I'd like to suggest that if we were raised on a farm growing our own vegetables and slaughtering our own meat we would indeed have a much different and realistic perspective on life and the very idea of vegetarianism would seem quite absurd to us.

Ever hear of "Breatharians"?
This is a group which believes that we really don't need food at all, only air and sunshine.
There's even a movement of folks who feel it's evil and cruel to mow your own lawn. After all, we are talking about living things, right?
Did you know that there is actually LEGITIMATE research which indicates that many plants DO have a type of nervous system and can feel things?

Well now many vegetarians would consider these groups to be pretty crazy but it seems to me that their arguments are the same at the core which is that we should NEVER harm any living thing for our own needs or desires.

It's my opinion that all one need do is look at the world and the natural order of things to see that the eating of meat is really a non-issue.

I do feel that it would be good if animals raised for food could be handled as humanely as possible (although I might point out that in the wild animals are often eaten alive by predators) but by the same token I recognize that the factory system is one which is the result of our desire to live in a comfortable clean environment where others handle all of the chores which we would rather not be bothered with so that we can enjoy our cable TV, SUVs and playing on our PCs.
All of us living in modern industrialized society benefit from this system whether we eat meat or not.

I, for one, am not quite ready to move out into the woods just yet.

One Nation Under...WHO?!?

2005-04-21T19:25:00.000-07:00

There was recently a case which got some media attention in which an atheist gentleman raised a stink about the inclusion of the phrase "one nation under God..." in the American Pledge of Allegiance.

He claimed that his daughter, a grade school student, was being traumatized (really! Traumatized!) by the fact that the pledge was being recited at her school with the offending phrase intact.

But exactly WHOSE sensibilities is it that the pledge of allegiance truly offends (The "one nation under God" part)?

"God" can obviously mean a lot of things to a lot of folks so whatever MY personal sense of who or what God is (that's if I even have one at all) will be how I view the word in such a neutral context.

And if I don't believe in God then the words are only empty ones, right?

I personally think that there are many things which are really non-issues and people who MAKE issues of them are simply interested in stirring up the crap.

Period.

Hows about next Christmas I raise holy hell about state and city offices that put up Christmas trees;
After all, those things are pagan in origin and this offends my judeo/christian sensibilities.

My Jehovah's Witness friend can picket state offices this 4th of July should they decorate with any "Happy 4th Of July" trappings as she is paying tax money to support those government offices and so they have NO BUSINESS offending HER pacifistic JW sensibilities by promoting a holiday built upon our victory in war.

See where I'm going here?

Yes, it IS pretty absurd.

Now in response to someone who asked me about how I would feel if the pledge said "in Allah we trust" I must point out that it DOES say that.

And at the same time...

It doesn't say it at all;

You see when a muslim refers to "God" they are reffering to Allah just as when I say "God" I'm thinking of Jehovah.

By merely saying "In God We Trust" or "One Nation Under God" I feel that we are presented with the concept of trust in something of higher ideals than just that of what our limited perspective may be.

Notice that the pledge does NOT say
Allah, Jehovah, Elohim,Brahma, Vishnu, Rama, Shiva, Krishna, Ahuramazd or any of the other names which the various belief systems use.

In my mind the way the pledge is worded becomes all-inclusive.

So whatever it is that one believes in I would suggest that it's the very acknowledgement of a more noble and higher ideal outside of ourselves that drives us and inspires us as a nation to thrive and survive and to aspire to be better.

I'm sure that most folks are aware of the concept of a "higher power" that Alcoholics Anonymous speaks of.

They aren't pushing the idea of any particular deity but rather the notion of focusing on whatever it is that the individual may look to for strength and inspiration...even if it's their own conscience!

My ex-wife's mother, for example, does not pray or belong to any religion but thinks that there is probably "something out there" which she describes as being somewhat like "The Force" in the "Star Wars" flicks.

Wanna guess what she calls her admittedly vague concept of some type of cosmic energy?

Yep. "God".

Of course our good athesit friend and his supporters will quickly fall back on the good old "seperation of Church and state" argument (the phrase appears nowhere in the American Constitution by the way) and warn us that inclusion of said term shows America as bordering on a theocracy.

Funny thing though when you stop and think about it;

Even with the phrase "One Nation Under God" in the pledge and the equally frightening phrase "In God We Trust" on our coins we have still managed to build porn shops on every corner, legalize gambling all over the country, raise an entire generation which believes in free sex and gay rights and watch the attitudes toward pornography, abortion, free speech, promiscuity and cross dressing loosen up beyond what the most liberal visionary of a generation ago would have dreamed of...or even hoped for.

Yep...sure sounds like a society controlled by religious zealots and theocrats to me.

Now back to this whole notion of some poor atheist's child running home in tears, throwing herself across the bed and crying "I heard them say 'God! I heard them say 'God'..."

You and I both know that when we were kids we memorized the words to the pledge and sputtered them out while we were trying to goof around with the kid next to us without getting caught.

We DID NOT stand there and meditate on the words and the meaning behind them and trust me;

Kids are no different today.

I mean, aside from the handguns they're taking to school, they are no different today.

I highly doubt that the atheist who made a case of this has such a sensitive child that she was traumatized by the word "God".

As a matter of fact ask any kid what the pledge is about and I'll guarantee that 99% of the time they'll give you a blank stare and then say "I dunno".

Bear in mind too that kids do NOT have to say the pledge if they don't want to for whatever reason.

Gee, I wonder if the atheist and his attorney were hoping for a fat check at the end of the day?

It's my opinion that there are times when you have to cut the crap and admit that it is someone who either has nothing better to do or just wants to get attention (or make a buck) that makes issues out of something as innocuous as how the pledge of allegiance is worded.

Tell ya what; Let's cut ANY reference to God out of everything that anyone may ever come into contact with.

But PUH-LEASE;

Next time something bad happens, like some lunatic flying an airliner into a skyscraper for instance, don't say "How could God let such a thing happen?".

Grow up folks.

Worry about your lawn, your kids and how much electricity you're wasting.

THAT'S how you can make the world a better place.

And one more thing;

God bless you.

Whether you like it or not.

The Sky Is falling; Buy A Chevrolet!

2005-04-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to start off here by pointing out what I happen to believe to be the truth (not that most folks care much about the "T" word nowadays) in the areas of global warming,the ozone layer or the theory that California is about to snap off of the continent and float off into the ocean like a big raft with a crew of mexican poolboys and silicone enhanced housewives.

What I am going to point out is what pawns I think that we have become in the game of ecological controversy.

Whether one believes that we are all doomed because our Nanna used too many cans of White Rain hairspray in order to trap our then-turgid grandfather with the hypnotic allure of her beehive hairdo or if you fall into the Rush Limbaugh camp of See I Told You So the reality of the matter is that the only actual Truth anyone can point to is the fact that we are all making a lot of people rich by buying their books, watching the TV shows which they appear on and clicking on the websites that their words of wisdom happen to appear on.

In other words, our angst is making the payments on their new Hummer.

Think about it; Doesn't the bulk of information on any subject usually come from, or at least through, a source which exists primarily to sell you Tide laundry detergent, Chevrolets or devices which promise to make one's Boy Howdy bigger (order now and get a free set of Ben-Wah balls)?

So here you and I are, arguing over whether or not we have time enough left on the cosmic calendar to order out for chinese all the while quoting sources which in one way or another are profiting from book sales, Nielsen ratings or website hits.

We act as though we're getting our information from a noble source while what we're really doing is helping to pay for that silicone on the author's wife who is about to drift off with the aforemetioned poolboy on the SS LaJolla.

These guys, in short, have turned us all into chumps by not only scaring the crap out of us but by also doing a pretty good job of pitting us against one another!

Here's a novel idea;

How about we forget about the latest pantload of purported data on at what rate the sky is falling and who is supposedly to blame and all of the other garbage which gets piled so high so as to become a sort of brain pollution and do the right and responsible thing just because that is what righteous and responsible folks oughtta do?

I mean, shouldn't we be trying to use our resources more efficiently and make less pollution just because that's what we should do?

Ever hear the expression Don't crap where you eat?

Ever give that expression much thought?

Well, OK, me neither (although I have eaten at Denny's a few times so I might've thought to ask the help if they had ever given the expression much thought) but I think that it mean's something like this;

I could take a crap on my kitchen floor if I really wanted to and then clean it up and I suppose that no one would be any the wiser (assuming of course that I did get it cleaned up before the wife got home) and it probably wouldn't hurt anything.

But I don't.

Not because I think that it would destroy my home but simply because one should not crap in the kitchen.

Who made this rule?

Heck,
I don't know but it just seems to make sense so why even argue about it?

(Although I must admit that if anyone does have an argument for making poo-poos in the kitchen I'd be curious to hear it)

Now I'd be willing to bet that back in the olden days one would probably want to make certain that the sides on their wooden ox-cart were high enough as well as strong enough so as to not be spilling that steamin' load of steer manure they were haulin' as they were clippity-cloppin' along that bumpy road which ran through the village.

I mean, face it; Uneven wooden wheels along a dirt road probably made for a ride which wouldn't bear much resemblance to that of a luxury sedan.

So now why would Joe Farmer care about bits of bovine poo falling off the cart as he went merrily along?

Would it be due to his concern for the fragile eco-system?

Probably not.

I can,however, think of two very good reasons that he would care;

Number one reason;

He did not want to waste his fertilizer. "Waste not want not", right? And then there's...

Reason number two;

He didn't want everyone pissed off at him for leaving poop along the way as he passed through town.

Wow. Think of it. Our guy Joe Farmer,without the benefit of the information super highway or any knowledge of the Ozone layer (or dental hygiene for that matter) may have very well known that there are some things one should do and some things that one should not do.

So suppose that we apply the same logic to how we treat the world around us?

We find cleaner and better ways of producing fuel and running our industry because we just should.

We don't create any more pollution and junk then we have to because we just shouldn't.

There.

Isn't that a much simpler approach?

No arguing.

No need to quote some asshole who wrote a book and appeared on Oprah.

No name calling or trying to scare das scheist out of anyone.

Just DO what we SHOULD and DON'T do what we should NOT.

Simple.

Now stop hitting your sister.

P.S.

I must apologize for the statement about your grandfather being in a turgid state.

I realize, albeit a bit too late, that there are some images one should not have permanently etched into their psyche.

Sorry.

The Family Jewels

2005-03-17T13:08:00.000-08:00

I don't exactly live in the "good" part of town and don't make a heck of a lot of money so when I go to work out it's not at"the club" or even"the gym".

Nope, I go to the "community center".

It's a place in the neighborhood (I'm barely in a good enough area to add the"neighbor..." part;
One tax bracket lower and I'd be livin' in just"da hood") where kids can take swimming lessons, korean folks can use the hall to have weddings and chumps like me can pay $3 to use the work-out room.

Well now when I go to the community center it's a given that at some point before or after my workout (or during my daughter's swimming lessons) I'm going to use the bathroom. The bathroom in this case is actually a part of the large locker-room which has stalls, showers etc.

Here's the thing I don't get;

Why do some guys~usually old guys~have to walk around naked?

There are plenty of places for them to get dressed or changed out of sight but there are always a few of them who must strip down right in front of the lockers which are smack dab in the middle of the room.

Now I can see why it MAY be convenient to change right there at the locker but these guys are in no hurry...no, they loiter around, chat with each other and just sort of hang out (and I do mean HANG) without making the slightest effort to cover their boys.

I've got nothing against nudity in general;
I've been to a nude beach a couple of times and if I ever get invited to a picnic at a nudist colony or to an orgy I'd understand that genitalia on parade would just be a given.

But those are situations where prolonged nakedness is expected, right?

When I'm washing my hands the last thing I want (or need) to see is two or three old men smiling at me in the mirror, arms folded across their chests with their junk on display while they talk rather loudly about the new sewer tax bill.

And why the hell do they always smile at me?

Is it perhaps that they are experiencing that same joyful feeling of freedom that a toddler does when they get to run around without their diaper?

I don't get it. I just don't get it.

What's even worse is when I see some guy bring his little 3 or 4 year old son or daughter in to use the bathroom.

I mean, think about it...a kid that age is right at eyeball level with Mr. Happy.

No wonder therapists have such a thriving business.

I sometimes want to rush up to the unsuspecting father as he's about to enter the room with his innocent offspring in tow, grab him by the shoulders and say
"Turn back now! Don't ask why! Just turn back!!!"

I really do try to ignore these naked guys who linger in their natural state but the problem is...well...let me put it like this;

Sometimes I may walk into my living room and the TV is on some nature show where it's showing a rabbit being ripped apart by a wolf.

As ugly as it may be I can't help but fix my eyes on this scene of horror for a moment as I'm reaching for the remote control to change the channel.

It's that same kind if experience when I see Moe, Larry and Curly proudly showing me their junk.

Even though I turn away the horror of what I just saw the image is stuck in my brain and there isn't even a remote control to grab for.

I do think that I may have a solution though.

I'm going to get a whole bunch of cheap fabric and make little loin-clothes which would allow one to "air out" the goods but still protect innocent bystanders from the shock of seeing the unsightly without warning.

I'll start taking them with me to the community center and when I see one of these guys even BEGINNING to disrobe I'll offer him the chance to wear one of the home-made loin-clothes for a dollar.

What's that?

Why would anyone pay me a dollar for a cheap piece of fabric?

No, you've got it all wrong;
I'M going to give THEM the dollar to wear the loin-cloth.

And by the way...

I've now had two seperate women tell me that they were under the impression that ALL men run around naked in dressing rooms~one even mentioned that she thought that it was part of the male bonding experience.

Sheesh!

Just for the record let me set the ladies straight;
In HIGH SCHOOL or maybe even COLLEGE guys do walk around naked as they usually have to hit the showers about the same time...you know after P.E., basketball practice etc.

Sometimes there's some towel snapping or something of the nature that does go on.

It is NOT however common to see a grown man in a PUBLIC restroom/dressing room to say "Hey fellas...Look at this" as he pretends his penis is a gear shift and simulates a race car driver shifting gears all the while making a brrrr sound in an attempt to make a sound like that of a high performance engine while he runs around the room.

OK?

Once again;

School boys in locker room; Some cavorting and horseplay.

Grown men in public facilities;

No "sword fights"

No doing "the pee-pee dance" like the guy in "The Silence Of The lambs",

Nothing.

The only exception, of course, is if you are a male locked up in a penile institution in which case, well...

Let's just say they didn't stumble upon the word " penile" by accident.

Call Me "Pablo"

2005-01-14T13:52:00.000-08:00

Prior to the highly covered criminal trial of O.J. Simpson I had never heard anyone say "The 'N' word".

That is to say that while I had obviously heard the notorious racial epithet they were referring to plenty of times I had just never heard anyone use the phrase "The 'N' word".

Now while I did understand that those involved were trying to acknowledge people's individual sensitivities the thing that I found ironic about the use of the phrase throughout the trial by the attorneys, the news media and everyone else who was hoping to avoid having their mouth washed out with Lifebuoy was the fact that everytime they uttered the politically correct term the very word which they were avoiding would immediately spring to everyone's mind...in big, bold, Times-Courier style letters.

Prior to all of this the only word which I had ever really heard folks tip-toe around in quite the same manner was the "F" word and of course we all know what that word is.

If you don't then I'd suggest you try stubbing your big toe against a kitchen chair leg in the dark. I Think it will come to you.

But if the "F" word is the queen mother of bad words then surely the "N" word must be the Adolph Hitler of bad words since any actual use of it is enough to end a career or bring down the wrath of both the press and the ACLU.

One thing I've noticed since those light hearted days of ill-fitting gloves and size 13 Bruno Maglia shoes is that I'm constantly hearing radio personalities, public figures and just plain folks around me referring to the "S" word, the "F" word and just about every other letter of the alphabet in this context.

I wonder;

Should this trend continue will we eventually come to the place where we never hear anything but the initials of words deemed offensive by society?

I can just picture an angry defendant jumping to his feet in the courtroom and shouting, "GD your honor! Ain't no way any N is gonna get any justice in this MFing court!"

Now I ask you, would that really be all that much better than simply using the words themselves?

I mean, you would know exactly what those letters represented, right?

And after all, shouldn't it be the meaning and intent behind the words that we find offensive?

I see some other potential problems with taking this present route as well;

Once we all have become accustomed to the idea that certain letters represent certain vulgarities then won't that naturally lead to the letters themselves being seen as offensive?

I can think of at least nine letters right off the top of my head that would be considered "fightin' words" and a couple of others that would be viewed as grounds for divorce!

And can you imagine a classroom full of grade schoolers reciting the alphabet?

They'd all be giggling so much that the poor, underpaid teacher would never be able to get them past the sixth letter.

Come to think of it, with the exception of "E" those first six letters are all naughty...and two of 'em are downright filthy!

I remember when I was small, before I could spell, how adults would sometimes spell out certain words in my presence that they didn't want me to hear.

I had no doubt that some or all of those words that they were spelling were bad ones although I couldn't actually prove it.

Hey! Like I said, I couldn't spell at the time!

The important part is that I knew that they were saying something naughty.

So now why, I wondered, if these words were so wicked that they couldn't even be uttered aloud in my presence, did these adults like them so much that they simply had to use them...even if it meant stopping mid-sentence to spell them out?!?

Bad language, I reasoned, must be a lot of fun!

Of course, if we go with the single initial "F" word technique the whole spelling words in front of the kids thing would no longer be a valid option.

After all, one can't spell exactly spell out "F" without actually saying it...just try it.

See?

Personally, I really don't have anything against using bad words, or should I say, those words which society has told us are "bad" words.

Don't get me wrong, I do have enough brains to know not to use them in church or in the work place but they are, after all, only words.

If you really want to shake things up do a little research on the vulgarity of your choice and you'll probably find out that it started out as perfectly respectable word and it was only with time that the word, or at least our perception of the word, evolved into something seen as crass, vulgar and wicked.

By the way, can I take one hot minute to dispell a popular myth?
That bad word among bad words did not start out as a legal term in the courtrooms of merry old England; "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge"
It is, however, the title of a rather mediocre album by the rockgroup VanHalen.

What I was getting to is that in all actuality I must admit to a certain fondness for dirty words.

I've even at times thought of myself as a sort of Pablo Picasso of curse words, creating one unique masterpiece after another which, while not always being perfectly logical in the classical sense, do succeed in conveying a certain unmistakable mood and message.

Just ask my wife. Or my kids. Or my neighbors.

So why, you may ask, would anyone admit to having any appreciation for those words deemed as unspeakable by clergy, educators and mothers everywhere?

Simple.

Bad words just have a type of flare...a certain Jenna c'est quoi if you will...that nice words just don't posess.

C'mon, admit it;

Most of us have a sneaking admiration for people and things which we've been taught were "bad" or "naughty".

Oh no?

Then you tell me, who do you think would get more girls;
Ernest Borgnine's "nice guy" character in the film "Marty" or Marlon Brando's swarthy bike riding rebel in "The Wild Ones"?

There's a very good reason that we all chuckle about Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello (as sweet as they may have been) but speak in hushed reverant tones when referring to James Dean and Marilyn Monroe.
And the reason is that while Frankie and Annette were...well, nice, Jimmy and Marilyn, by contrast, were cool...sexy...bad!

There's another reason that I like bad words and yes, I am including those reprehensible racial epithets;

When someone uses bad words I generally know exactly what they mean and where they stand.

If a black guy, for instance, angrily calls me a cracker I know precisely where he's coming from;

No wondering, no second-guessing.

It's all laid out right there in front of me.

Besides, he really doesn't have the option of reverting to calling me "the 'C' word" in place of cracker as he would be running the risk of someone overhearing him and thinking he meant that other "C" word and that, my friend, could mean big trouble.

Oops upside yo head!

Now lest ye think that I'm actually advocating the use of curse words, crude sexual terms, racial slurs and bad language let me assure you that I am not.

I'm simply pointing out that perhaps we should make a conscience choice to use bad words or to not use bad words.

Either clean up your language and find other ways to express yourself or just say what you mean.

Don't spell it or use the innocent letters of the alphabet to do your dirty work for you;just say it!

...or don't.

Trust me, those kids that you are trying so hard to shield from profanity probably have a knowledge of blue language which could rival that which one may find in a sailor's love letters so if you truly believe that certain words are really so terrible then maybe you should just remove them from your vocabulary altogether for your own conscience's sake.

Just lose 'em!

But hey; that's just how I see it...and who in the hell am I anyway?

Oh...one last thing;
You know all that stuff I said earlier? You know, about me being the Picasso of bad words and all?

If you run into my mom please don't mention any of that stuff to her, OK?

I mean, she may be getting up there in years...

But she can still slap the S out of me if she D well wants to!

Apples And Allen Wrenches

2005-01-14T13:45:00.000-08:00

"We can _BLANK_ but we just can't seem to _BLANK_."

Ever hear someone use this phrase?

Let me explain but please don't be offended if you happen to be an individual who has said this sort of thing yourself as you obviously didn't know what you were saying at the time so you're automatically forgiven, OK?

I'm talking about what is, in my humble opinion, one of the dumbest things that I ever hear people say which is the phrase above with the blanks filled in;

"We can make all them fancy computers but we don't seem to be able to keep our kids off drugs"

See what I mean?

Now of course I realize that the intent behind this type of comment is to point out that we don't always have our priorities straight which may sometimes be true but the problem is that the comparisons they make never seem to have ANY relationship.

Using the above example, I have to wonder if the person who said it understands that it's NOT the drug counsellors or the D.A.R.E. officers who are necessarily the same folks who actually build computers.

Now if one were to say, for instance, "We have plenty of time to yell at our kids but we sure don't seem to be able to find time to just talk with them"... now THAT would make some kind of sense.

And don't you wish that you had a buck for everytime you've heard someone say "We can put a man on the moon but we can't find a cure for the common cold" ...as if to imply that the development of velcro alone wasn't enought to justify the money spent on the space program!

I mean, sheesh!

I've also noticed that whenever I hear someone saying something along these lines, using the "We can _BLANK_ but..." formula it's often some idiotic comparison but the person who said it has a proud look on their face as though they have just said something profound.

The other day I heard someone say ; "We sure can make all these remote controlled planes and high tech surveillance devices but we can't find a cure for AIDS".

Big proud smile.

Umm....You are aware, of course, that the guys who know how to build planes DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE HUMAN AUTO-IMMUNE SYSTEM, RIGHT?

Trust me, if I ever come down with a potentially fatal disease or suffer a serious physical injury I do NOT want to look up from my hospital bed to see Gomer Pyle and Sgt. Carter looking down at me as they discuss how to proceed.

"Um...uh...nurse? What are these guys doing here?"

"Don't worry Mr. Moffitt. They're taking time out from their duties back at the military base to operate on you".

"Gee...don't they have something else they could be doing...you know, like working on remote control planes or something?"

Here's another good one I overheard;

"We can sure make good DVD players but we just can't seem to cure cancer once and for all".

Huh?!?

Hey Ace. I doubt that Mr. Chang has time in between assembling remote control units at the Samsung factory to work on that cure for cancer.
But hey, maybe when orders slow down a bit after the holidays.

One of my all time favorites was the 40 year old guy who works in the gymnasium of our local community center and his comment a few weeks after 9/11;

"Yep, we sure can make all these fancy flat screen TVs and we can send satellites up into space but we can't seem to figure out a way to just sit down with that Bin Laden feller and talk things over".

Big proud smile.

I had to hold myself back from responding;

"I know whatcha mean. Take yourself for instance. YOU, on the one hand, can assess how the government and world leaders should be dealing with issues of global peace and international terrorism but at the same time you JUST CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO BETTER THAN A MINIMUM WAGE JOB GUARDING THE EXERCISE EQUIPMENT AT FORTY YEARS OF AGE."

Is that like what you mean?"

I've decided that since so many people like to make these tired out lop-sided types of observations I'm going to start playing along with them.

In fact I think that the next time I hear someone utter the all-too-familiar observation "They can put a man on the moon but they can't find a cure for the common cold." I'm going to say, with a completely straight face,
"Well, you know, that's exactly where our space program went so very wrong.
The Russians had lead us to believe that the cure for the common cold was actually to be found on the moon!.

Then we got there and realized we'd been had!

Man, were the faces of the high-ups at NASA red!

And of course those damn Russians had been laughin' their butts off the whole time knowing that all we were going to find was a bunch of rocks and stuff".

Kerry...a "Regular Joe".

2004-11-09T13:47:00.000-08:00

OK, so the election is past us and George W. Bush won a second term.

I feel that John Kerry bowed out very gracefully and give the guy kudos for doing so.

This all may be a moot point at this time but I still marvel at the idea that there were some who had the impression that Kerry, unlike Bush, was just a "regular guy" without the advantages of wealth and position that Bush had.

A friend told me of how he saw as much depicted in a PBS aired documentary and was even swayed to some extent by it.

So; Was Kerry from an "average" background?

Hardly.

His family was among the wealthiest in the united states.

On his mother's side his grandfather is one of the very wealthy FORBES family and his grandmother is from a very prestigious New England family which boasts FOUR US PRESIDENTS as relatives.

Kerry's father was attorney for the Bureau of United Nations Affairs in the U.S. Department of State.

At age 11 Kerry was enrolled in a Swiss boarding school and spent his summers as a child at the family's vacation home in France, a sprawling family estate, known as Les Essarts.

As a boy Kerry enjoyed travelling between France, Norway and
England and as a teen was enrolled in a prestigious Massachusetts boarding school and later attended YALE where he was a member of the prestigious "Skull & Bones" society (only those from a wealthy or priveledged background can typically join by invitation).

Rather than working to earn his own fortune Kerry first married Julia Thorne, a Philadelphia heiress, in 1970 and after they honeymooned in Jamaica she proceeded to fund his political career.

While they were still married Kerry began courting Teresa Heinz with a worth of more than $700 million and soon sought to have his marriage to Thorne annulled, despite the fact that it had produced two children.

So Kerry was born into a wealthy family, travelled abroad as a boy, attended only the best schools and then funded his political aspirations by bouncing from one wealthy heiress to an even wealthier woman.

Gee. Sounds like a "regular Joe" to me.

The Devil Knife

2004-11-05T09:12:00.000-08:00

I was going to review a product that I recently purchased (which I still will get around to doing) but the overwhelming feeling I have about that purchase is that I have somehow invited an evil entity into my home;

The Miracle Blade 3.

I don't think that they did a very good job of naming this product.
It should be something more like DangerBlade 3 or maybe the Badass Mofo Take No Prisoners Knife or as my wife, Julie, has started calling it The Devil Knife.

I actually set out to purchase the Ultimate Chopper which my daughters got all excited about a couple of weekends ago when an infomercial for it was on early Sunday morning but ended up getting much more than I had bargained for.

I really only paused to watch the commercial so that I could make rude comments about the tubby shill in the chef's hat and the over enthusiastic horse-faced woman who stood by his side but that was quickly forgotten when my daughters both began to wax poetic about the glorious product in the TV spot.

They were both smiling and giggling as though they had just seen Justin Timberlake in a thong but there was no blue eyed pop star on the screen.

The product, as mentioned earlier, was the Ultimate Chopper. A sort of mini food processor which could be had for a mere $50 or so.

This little gadget could do almost anything a food processor costing big bucks could do and would surely change your life.

I thought that my daughters were joking at first when they told me how much they had always wished that they could have an Ultimate Chopper, having seen this infomercial so many times.

Now I knew darn well that no teenage girl could be on the level with such animated claims of longing for a kitchen gadget but they assured me that they were quite serious.

I sat back and started watching the TV spot and saw the guy in it demonstrate how easily one could churn out home made sorbet, grated cheese and...Guacamole.

Man, that Guacamole was sounding mighty good considering that I hadn't had anything to eat yet and when my younger daughter said "Dad...could you call and order one so that we can make Guacamole?"
I suddenly found myself dialing the toll free telephone number on the TV screen with my credit card in hand. Impulse buying is something I almost never do but what the heck.

I mean c'mon...we talkin' about Guacamole.

I didn't really pay attention to the part of the commercial where they said "But wait...there's more! Order now and we'll also send you the Miracle Blade 3 absolutely free!"

So the Ultimate Chopper showed up in a reasonably timely manner and when I opened the carton and saw the large knife with it's serrated edge I thought "Cool. I can always use another knife."

Little did I know.

I do a lot of chopping, slicing and dicing around the house since I'm the only one who cooks.
I make a lot of soup from scratch which means I use a large Chef's knife a lot and I never ever cut myself.

A day after I got the goods in the mail I went to make myself a steak and decided to give the old "Miracle Blade 3" a shot.
I started to cube the raw meat (sometimes I cut my steak up before I cook it) and about halfway through (and by accident) I barely...let me repeat...I barely...touched the edge of the blade up against my finger.

At first I didn't realize I had cut myself as the blade was so stinkin' sharp that it had just done it's diabolical work without my notice.

As I continued to cut my steak I felt a stinging sensation and then saw that my finger had suddenly began to bleed profusely.

Within moments my steak, the plate it was on my hand were all covered with blood!

"What the HELL?!?" I said out loud.

I put my bloody plate down and ran to the sink where I rinsed my hand off and saw that a small portion of the tip of my finger was just gone!

To make a long story short, I got my finger wrapped up with some gauze and tape, everything in the kitchen cleaned up and went on about my day.

When Julie came home I told her about what had happened and laughed about it. "That's one good knife" I told her.

A couple of days went by and it was time to make a fresh batch of soup.

I got out my bell pepper, Bok Choy, carrots, kosher bouillon cubes and tofu and was all set to make a super veggie soup.

Now how much easier would things be with my new super knife?

I doubt I have to even tell you what happened next;

About three or four slices into the bell pepper and my thumb was squirting blood.

DAMN!!!! How'd that happen?!?

So now I have two very sore bandaged appendages.
They're healing up alright but every time I feel their dull throbbing I just know that damn knife is in the kitchen laughing at me.

When I did the dishes I was actually nervous about even washing the thing.
Should I handle it with thick heavy leather gloves I wonder?

Now it sits quietly in the wooden knife block next to all of the friendly Henckels knives which have served me so well, always cutting and slicing my food with ease but never their owner.

Still, each time I enter the kitchen there it is taunting me.

Tempting me with it's gleaming stainless steel and clean serrated edge.

STAY AWAY FROM ME OH DEVIL BLADE!

Oh yeah, the "Ultimate Chopper"?

It works pretty well.

We'll be getting around to actually using it to make some Guacamole sooner or later.

Gun Nuts

2004-10-08T13:07:00.000-07:00

There was recently a lot of buzz about the soon-to-expire ban on assault-type weapons which again brought up the usual arguments over who wants to take our right to bear arms away or somehow hamper that right.

Now I don't really know who is trying to take our rights away or even if they truly are so this is more of a personal statement based only on the topic of our right to bear arms in and of itself.

I heard a friend who I have much love and respect for commenting that "no one needs to own a gun".

And that seems to be the key rationale that some maintain for wanting to curtail or even do away with our right to own firearms.

"No one needs to own a gun".

I don't own a gun and never have.

I don't hunt and frankly tend to think that many people who do are assholes who piss themselves out of excitement everytime they get a chance to kill something.

You'll never find me hanging out with macho clowns that wear flannel shirts, drive "4-wheelers" and yell "whoo-hooo" as they drive through the mud and steer with one hand while they swill their beer with the other (Guess what? I don't drink beer either. See what a big pussy I am?).

But you know what?

I may buy a gun someday for personal protection.

If some crackhead climbs in the window in the middle of the night to rob me or rape my wife I have the right to defend myself and I have the right to use firearms to do so.

Whether it's a the unlikely situation of things going to crap and having to deal with terrorists in the street ala Red Dawn or a simple matter of protecting myself and my family against an intruder I don't relish the idea of being at some thug's mercy and for that reason I think it's a darn good idea to own a gun.

As a matter of fact I sometimes think with things such as they are it's almost irresponsible of me to not have one around for protection.

If I ever do decide that I'd like to take up hunting (you know...after I get that lobotomy I've been saving up for?) I have the right to do that too as long as I follow the local laws regarding hunting.

My forefathers guaranteed that right.

And I do not want anyone ever screwing around with that right.

Even if I never get around to actually purchasing a gun.

Now there are plenty of things that people do that they don't "need to do".
I don't think that people "need" to sit at home and play with themselves while they download gay porn on the net.

I don't think that anyone "needs" to watch TV shows that portray graphic violence and sex.

PETA thinks that no one "needs" to eat meat.

In fact, I would imagine that if everyone here made a list of the things that they don't understand others feeling a "need" to do and then we compiled that into one master list and made it law we'd find ourselves limited to walking around staring straight ahead, listening to Lawrence Welk and eating nothing but Tofu.

We sure as hell wouldn't see people driving around yapping on their cell phones. Nobody needs to do that.

But you know what?

We don't uphold rights based on what someone else thinks we do or do not "need" to do.

Now if you think that my belief that our basic American right to bear arms makes me some kind of psycho that's fine.

Again, I don't own a gun and I don't hunt or hang around with people who do.

But if the day comes that I have to make a choice between siding with a group that wants to disarm the population and a group that is pro-gun, pro-hunting and pro-constitution I won't even have to think about it.

Sure, maybe I'll stick out like a sore thumb but I'll be standing there in my Old Navy T-shirt and Dockers amongst the bikers, the cowboys and the hunters.

All of whom will no doubt shove me around and make fun of my haircut.

One last thought;

I've heard it said before that the 2nd amendment does not refer to the right of the individual to own firearms but rather the right of the country to keep a well armed militia.

So I looked it up and the fact is that the 2nd amendment actually addresses both.

So here it is and I think that it's obvious that it speaks to the importance of a military or police entity existing as well as the freedom of the individual;

The Second Amendment to the United States Constitution

"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."

Some experts would tell you that in the language of today this passage may read Since it's necessary for the government to maintain armed forces in the interest of security the people themselves will never be denied the right to arm themselves as well.

So it seems pretty clear that the second amendment does differentiate between a militia and the citizenry (the "people") but just for further validation I looked around and gathered a few of quotes from some of the founding fathers themselves;

Patrick Henry
"The great object is that every man be armed . . . Everyone who is able may have a gun." (In the Virginia Convention on the ratification of the Constitution.)

James Madison
"Americans have "the advantage of being armed" -- unlike the citizens of other countries where "the governments are afraid to trust the people with arms."

George Mason
"To disarm the people is the best and most effectual way to enslave them."

Samuel Adams
"The Constitution shall never be construed . . . to prevent the people of the United States who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms."

Alexander Hamilton
"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed."

Richard Henry Lee
"To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of the people always possess arms, and be taught alike, especially when young, how to use them."

Does The Left Fear A Righteous Man?

2004-10-06T13:29:00.000-07:00

I feel that I should put a disclaimer right up front lest any assume that I'm painting all of those who are members of one political party or another as either Godless heathens or saints beyond reproach;

There are very decent people on both sides of the political fence as well as some real humdingers.

I also want to point out that a person need not subscribe to any specific faith or any faith at all in order to be ethical and moral human beings.

That said, it's been my experience that there are some people who seem to fear any sincere mention of God or any acknowledgement of the existance of good and evil.

The reason that I use the word fear is because of the knee-jerk irrational reaction that some appear to have whenever faced with any idea or position which acknowledges a real living God or a belief in such a Supreme Being.

I always wondered why someone would have such strong reactions to a concept which they either don't accept or at the very least don't feel the need to devote much energy to the consideration of.

And as far as "evil" goes, I actually heard a celebrity on a television talk show comment that she doesn't like the word "evil" as it sounded like something the nuns in Catholic school would use in order to frighten little children.

When another on the panel asked her what then, if there's not such a thing as "evil", would she call the terrorists in Russia who recently gunned down scores of crying children in an elementary school?

"I'd call them 'whacked'. Not 'evil'" she replied.

Now I don't know about you, but in my mind the woman at work who thinks that she hears voices, the kid down the street who's pants are so baggy they are falling off and the guy in line at the supermarket who is yelling at the top of his lungs because they accidently overcharged him for a dozen eggs...those people are "whacked".

People who murder children are evil.

I think that sometimes one can find a rather simple explanation to people's reactions and I think that there may very well be a simple explanation for the topic at hand;

As human beings it is in our most basic nature to rebel against authority, against restrictions on our behavior and against our parents and to look away from those things which frighten us.

As we mature we begin to see the logical reasons for respecting authority and for not always doing exactly what we want to do whenever we wish to do it and the trouble we may end up in if we don't face those difficult items that we'd rather not have to deal with.
We learn at a young age that there are consequences for our actions as well as our inactions and as we grow we learn that the more significant the choice the more significant the consequences tend to be.

After the "If it feels good do it" attitude of the seventies and the "me generation" philosophy of the eighties we are left with a society which for all practical purposes seems to lack any real moral clarity.

Aside from the current cause celeb we are now told by pop culture, which seems to dictate our ethics or at least be a barometer for them, that we live in a world where there is no real right or wrong when it comes to morality and personal conduct.
While not everyone subscribes to this way of thinking there are those who do bristle whenever anyone suggests that there is indeed such a thing as right and wrong or good and evil.

I believe that the reason for this is the secret guilt that many carry around with them for their own lifestyles and choices.

Even those who may not have many skeletons in the closet still have that fear of someday being made to account for their rejection of God.

You see, I do not believe people who say that they don't believe in God. I think that what they are really saying is I don't want to think about God. I believe that the sense of a Supreme Being is so basic to our psyche that we can't escape it no matter how hard we try.

So yes, I believe it's that simple;
People who have such a strong reaction to any acknowledgement of a higher power do so because of their deep seated fear of judgement.

I believe that this is why the left is so downright hateful of our current Commander And Chief George W. Bush.

Bush had made it very public that he is a Bible believing Christian and that he puts his own ego aside in order to pray daily and seek guidance in making his decisions.

Of course when Bill Clinton carried his little white Bible around with him no one seemed to mind and here's why;

People didn't truly believe that Bill Clinton was sincere in his faith while they do believe that George Bush is.
The kind of faith that Clinton seemed to exhibit was of the self serving lip service variety which may seem "nice" and non-threatening while the faith which George W. Bush lays claim to is of the "take a look in the mirror" type which makes people who try to avoid mirrors very uncomfortable.

So you see it isn't a matter of what faith a person professes but more a matter of if that faith seems to be real.

Now one would think anyone would appreciate the humility and earnestness of such a leader even if they don't share his beliefs.

But instead the reaction is spew such hatred and animosity in the man's direction that it must certainly belie a deeper emotion that most would never admit to.

The fear of a righteous man.

But the fear has nothing to do with the man himself. It has more to do with what he reminds them of.

You see if I look at a man who prays and seeks to please God it reminds me of my own secret guilt.
By seeing someone who is setting an example of righteousness I am immediately aware of how I look by comparison.
If I acknowledge God then I have to take a look at my own life and what needs change and I do not want to humble myself in such a way.

I also think that it is frightening to acknowledge the concepts...or should I say the realities of good and evil for the simple reason that once one admits that evil exists they see that their choice is to either act against evil and stand up for good or to just hide until it comes to their doorstep in hopes that if they don't look it will all just go away.

You know, like pulling the covers over your head so the monster in the closet will go away?

It goes back to the most basic and childish thought patterns;

I don't want to be told what to do.

I don't want to be told what's right or wrong.

I want to do what I want to do.

I don't want to face those things that frighten me.

But you see it's not the righteous man who is truly pointing out to these folks what they should be doing or reminding them that there will someday be consequences to their choices or inaction in this life.

It's their own conscience and fears that are eating at them and which they do their best every day to ignore, numb or bury.

So call it a mere theory if you wish to but I believe that this explains the rabid spitting and irrational hatred that the left displays on a daily basis for George W. Bush;

His straight forwardness and humble faith serves to raise their awareness of the struggle with their own conscience which they so desperately wish to forget.

Funny Thing About Politics...

2004-10-03T04:38:00.000-07:00

I have a friend with whom I share many interests.
We both enjoy many of the same types of music, films and foods and both have similar takes on what the truly important things in life are.
We also share a very similar set of personal morals and ethics.

For several years I always looked forward to our frequent gettogethers for some good natured conversation and companionship.

Now my buddy is a staunch Republican whereas I am a bit more of a moderate so we do have some differing views on political topics.

Not radically different mind you but still different.

Whereas he generally defines his opinions (or perhaps his
positions would be more accurate) along party lines I do not.

While we may both want the same things for our country such as a good educational system, help for those who truly need it, a strong military etc we differ on some of the specifics of just how to accomplish these things.

Neither of us claim to be experts so we typically base our positions on what other people who are supposedly experts have to say through newspaper articles, editorials and so on.

We read those articles or listen to politicians and those who comment on social and political issues and then form our own opinions taking into consideration what seems to make the most sense to us.

Now while he and I used to get together for coffee or lunch several times a week we now see one another on very rare occasions and even then it's usually because we only happen to be at the same party or just bump into one another in some public place or social setting.

At first we went from having coffee or lunch three or four times a week to two then once a week and then once every few weeks until...well, now it's been months.

And do you want to know what came between the two of us?
Why two guys who were once close friends have practically become strangers?

I'll tell you what came between us;

George W. Bush

No, I did not err when I said what came between us rather than who came between us as it wasn't really George Bush himself that came between us.

It was our differing views on President Bush and some of his positions that came between us.

It seemed that everytime I said anything remotely critical about the President or expressed a view which was not identical to the Republican party's official position my good friend would fly into an outrage.
He would immediately begin raising his voice and lunging into a long diatribe which seemed to be designed to somehow put me in my place.

I soon found that what used to be pleasant conversation was now uncomfortable and tense as I tried to keep the conversation going in an effort to steer clear of any topic which could lead to a discussion of politics.

Even as I was on my way to meet my pal at our favorite hangout I would be going over the various topics I could bring up in order to avoid the touchy subject of politics;

Movies I had seen or wanted to see, problems with my car, the weather...Anything that would avoid those uncomfortable political arguments (not that they were truly arguments as most of them consisted of a few words from me which only served as a preface to an anger filled soliloquy which I would simply be an audience to).

On a couple of occasions I tried to mention to my friend that we should be able to express our views in a calm and friendly manner without getting all worked up and that if politics was such a touchy subject maybe we should avoid it altogether but this only seemed to make things worse.

So, as I mentioned earlier, our once friendly get togethers grew farther and farther apart as well as less and less friendly until they stopped altogether.

That's the funny thing about politics;

They seem to come between people who are not politicians, are not involved in politics and whose only involvement in government is to cast a vote every few years.

I will often hear people say conservative or liberal in tones that sound as though they are saying nigger or gook through their clenched teeth.

When did people begin making their political views so very personal?
At what point in time did we decide as a people that while religious and racial intolerance were wrong and unacceptable hatred and intolerance based on party affiliation was the mode o' day?

I have coffee and lunch by myself these days.
Sometimes I look up from my book or newspaper at the empty chair on the other side of the table and feel just a little lonely and then return to my reading.

I don't miss the arguing or the uncomfortable silences but there is one thing I do miss.

I miss my friend.

I wonder if he's having lunch with George W. Bush these days?

Fun Snacks For The Whole Family

2004-09-27T10:13:00.000-07:00

You know, we Americans take a lot of heat for giving names to products that resemble funny phrases when translated in other countries.

But if we are indeed as good at the above as we are often accused of then I would like to nominate the Japanese as the reigning champs of giving products names which unintentionally bring a smile to one's face.

I offer the following as proof positive that the good executives who labor away in the "Land Of The Rising Sun" deserve some kind of award...or perhaps some remedial English courses... for their ability to give their goods names that overshadow whatever they were hoping to communicate as reason to buy said products.

Here are a few legitimate snack products from a real Japanese food manufacturer.

UM...no thanks.

I dropped a piece of toast on the floor this morning. Is that the same?

Does this go well with the first one?

Got one already. Don't need two thanks. But hey, I'll give you a call if I change my mind.

Why George Bush's Military Service doesn't Matter

2004-09-16T13:15:00.000-07:00

I'm not a particularly politically minded person but I do love my country and my community enough that I try to pay attention most of the time.

I've never met John Kerry or George Bush.

I'm willing to bet tho' that were I to sit down with either of them on an intimate basis I'd be very impressed with them as individuals.

John Kerry has been highly criticized for his lack of charisma but that purported lack of charisma is one that may very well be evident only in the harsh and magnifying light of the public arena.

I have no doubt that John Kerry is in possession of charisma in spades when compared to your average guy.
I'm quite certain that in person his charisma, sincerity and personality would be quite impressive indeed.

Now George Bush has often been made to look like an unintelligent hayseed who stumbles over his words.

I'll readily admit that G.W.'s verbal faux paus have made me chuckle or shake my head on more than one occasion.

But, as with Kerry, I'd bet good money that in person George W. Bush comes across as an intelligent, charming and experienced individual.

I have no hesitation in making these comments about the impressiveness of the two candidates as one simply does not rise to the positions these men have if they do not possess a good degree of intelligence, charisma and ambition.

Sure, it's easy for a chump like me to criticize those who have accomplished more than I ever have or ever even hope to but if I were to ever hold myself up in the same light of scrutiny that a United States senator and the President Of The United States are subjected to on a daily basis I would shrivel like a spider on a hot stove.

The stupid crap I've done as well as poor decisions and stumbles I've made in my own life are plentiful and yet most of the people who know me respect me.
Hell, some even look up to me.

Go figure.

So now we have the media, the politically motivated and those who have an interest in the outcome of the next presidential election bringing out all sorts of information which is meant to help their guy and hurt the other guy.

The one issue which has possibly hurt John Kerry's hopes of winning the election is the veracity of how he has presented his military service.

There have been doubts cast upon how he obtained his medals during the time he served in Vietnam, his actions after leaving the military and his very patriotism.

Obviously there are many other topics which Kerry and his opponents have brought into the political and public forums but none have grabbed the interest of the media quite like that of his military service and his actions around that time.
After all, it has all of the drama of a Herman Wouk novel, does it not?

Let's forget about the specifics of the indictments against John Kerry and just leave it at this;

Whether you believe the reports which cast Mr. Kerry in an unfavorable light or not it's undeniable that the goal of those who have made issues of those items is to say "Look at this information; It says something about the man who is running for the highest office in the land."

So what has the response been by those who support John Kerry in his bid for the presidency?

They've countered with a campaign of their own calling attention to information which would discredit the President's service of a good thirty years ago in the National Guard.

Once again forgetting about the specifics of the charges the goal seems to be to say that George Bush's service record was less than honorable or at the very least less than impressive and that one way or another it says something about the man.

But here is the problem with the thinking behind the counter-punch offered up by Kerry's camp;

George Bush's activities of thirty years ago don't matter.

Why is that you ask?
Why should John Kerry's past be of interest while the President's is not?

Simple;

The public has watched George Bush serve as President for four years.

We already know what to expect from George Bush.

We know where he stands and whether or not he will do what he says he will do and whether or not we are likely to approve of his actions.

Some of us approve of his actions thus far during his time in office and some of us do not but we now have a track record from the immediate past to judge him on.

Kerry, on the other hand, is an unknown commodity to most voters.

Yes, we do want to know about his past, yes we do want to know if what he has been telling us about his record is the truth and yes, we do want to hear from those who have witnessed his actions and have something postive or negative to say about them.

Because we don't know the guy we have to rely on that second hand information in order to make up our minds as to whether the way in which he represents himself seems to be a true representation.

The testimony of those who either support or criticize John Kerry are all we have to go on.

On the other hand love him or hate him, believe in him or mistrust him, we all should know who George Bush is by now.

If, as a voter, four years of being an eyewitness to the actions of a fifty-seven year old man is somehow going to be outweighed by second, third and fourth-hand accounts of what he may or may not have done as a college-age kid than I should probably sit this election out.

There are much clearer thinking minds out there that should be choosing our next president.

Isn't It A Funny Thing...

2004-09-14T13:16:00.000-07:00

...how once you make up your mind that you're finished with something you suddenly start noticing EVERY LITTLE THING that's wrong with it whatever that situation may be?

Let me explain;

I've had jobs that ran the full gamut of suckiness; All the way from jobs that barely sucked at all to jobs that sucked to the enth degree.
Still, I was always able to accept things as they were and put my time in and my best foot forward.But once I decided to quit whatever the job in question was and put my two week notice in every day...no, every moment seemed to last an eternity.
Maybe I would have coasted through 4 or 5 years with a positive attitude but those final two weeks were sheer Hell for no reason aside from my knowledge that the end was within sniffing distance.

Same thing with relationships;
I was always able to overlook whatever potentially unattractive characteristics my then-girlfriend/squeeze possessed and focus on their better qualities.
That is, until I decided that I was going to be getting out in the near future. It always seemed that once I had decided that this relationship had just about run it's course I would begin to notice every word the girl or woman in question mispronounced, every dumb opinion they expressed, how obnoxious they looked when they chewed their food and how cheap their perfume smelled.

Now I'll be the first to admit that any or perhaps all of those things that drove me buggy had existed from the beginning...heck, some of them were the very things I had found appealing in the beginning but once I knew I was soon to be out of there those little things suddenly seemed so annoying that I wanted to crawl out of my skin.

Sadly, I can now say that the same dynamic exists in my living situation;
I have loved my neighborhood since I first moved here about 16 years ago and many times said that I planned to always live here.
While others said my neighborhood was "scary" I would call it "working class".
When others would call it "run down" I would call it "affordable".
When others would say "It's nice to finally see a few people fixing their houses up" I would say "See! I told you things were on the upswing in this area!"

Well, a few weeks ago I decided that we are going to try to move by next Spring or maybe Summer.
There have been a number of situations that have arisen in the recent past that gave us cause to rethink our living situation but the truth is that we have simply outgrown our humble home; Both physically and otherwise.

And since I made the decision to begin getting my ducks in a row in order to facilitate said move a funny thing has happened.
I now am painfully aware of every white kid with his pants drooping down around his knees, every black kid wearing a skull cap or a "do-rag", every redneck with a mullet and every bleached blonde in line at the corner store who is letting her dark roots show.
My radar now picks up on every Pit Bull I see, every backfiring El Camino I hear (or were they gunshots?) and every shopping cart I see on the sidewalk.
It even extends to my very own domicile which was up until now the object of my deepest affections;

I get annoyed by every ant that needs stompin' on, every weed that needs pullin' and every gutter that needs cleaning.

Now I know that "the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence" but I sure as hell look forward to living in a mullet free, do-rag free, El Camino free community.

Hot Saucing

2004-09-10T11:01:00.000-07:00

I like hot sauce.
I especially like hot sauce on my pizza (nothin' like a little Frank's Louisiana Hot Sauce to rescue that big hunk of crust you end up with after you've eaten the good part).

I also like hot chicks.

Come to think of it I guess there aren't too many things I would enjoy more than sittin' down with a hot chick to share a pizza with a bottle of hot sauce on the table.

There's one combination of hot sauce and a hot woman that I'm not too certain I care for tho';

Has anyone heard about Lisa Welchel, the woman who played the part of Blaire on the old sitcom The Facts Of Life, and her speaking out about what she calls "Creative Correction"?

As a matter of a fact she has actually written a book on the topic entitled Creative Correction: Extraordinary Ideas for Everyday Discipline.

So here's where the hot sauce comes in.

Apparently Ms. Welchel advocates, among other things, a disciplinary practice that I'd never heard of called "hot saucing". The idea is that your kid has told a lie or used a bad word so you take some hot sauce and put it on their tongue.

When I heard this the first thing that sprang to mind was "WTF?!?" and I'd be willing to bet that this or a variant of it is what springs to most people's minds along with raised eyebrows.

I then went on to read that Lisa Welchel also threatens her kids with hair pulling.
She says that if one of her children won't hold her hand when crossing the street she will remind them; "I can either hold your hand or hold your hair."

I'm not one of those people who doesn't believe in disclipline;
Quite the opposite, I still believe in paddling a kid's bottom or taking privileges away when they need it and when it's appropriate (and of course when simply talking to them isn't going to have much affect) but I also believe that punishment should take a form that the child can understand as just and measured.

I do think however that the types of methods that Lisa Welchel advocates pretty much come down to cruel bullying;
There's a difference between disciplining your offspring and just screwing with them.

Why not poke your kid in the eye if they give you a dirty look?
How's about starving them for a day if they refused to eat their veggies at last night's dinner?
If they run in the house after being told not to would it be OK to force them to run behind your car on a leash?

"You wanted to run so much...OK...So run!"

Here's a good rule of thumb;

If the discipline you're considering would seem more like behavior exhibited by a school bully than by a reasonable adult then it's probably not truly discipline;

It's torment.

Now in order for "hot saucing" (By the way...doesn't that sound like some new gay activity that us heteros would hear on TV but be too afraid to ask about the meaning thereof?) to be affective one would assume that said sauce would have to be somewhat potent, right?
I mean otherwise why not just say "Have some Ketchup" the next time Junior says 'bee-yatch'?

So bearing that in mind let me point out that some doctors have pointed out that a young child could actually suffer some unintended damage to delicate tissue from swallowing hot sauce...

"Thanks a lot for the hole in my esophagus Mom!!!"

Now I'd like to believe that Lisa Welchel is a decent, although somewhat misguided, person who wants the best for her kids and in an era when so many folks just don't seem to care to take the time to deal with their children when they behave badly I want to assume that her heart is in the right place.

You can judge for yourself by visiting her site here;
http://www.lisawhelchel.com/

And yep, she's still pretty hot!

Hopefully she won't feel that I should have hotsauce rubbed into my eyes for having noticed!

Here we go...

2004-09-10T10:28:00.000-07:00

Well, it seems that everybody these days has a blog on the net so I guess I figured it was about time I got one up and running.

I'll be using this to share my daily thoughts and experiences however mundane they may be.

Check back for the latest as we move on through this strange experiment some refer to as reality.